


The Fix

by sadntired



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:06:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 35,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1487467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadntired/pseuds/sadntired
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren hadn't meant to do it.</p><p>But Levi looked at him with those eyes and he felt like everything inside of him had snapped, come apart, leaving him a complete mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Eren is basically working for Levi. Well he's trying to fix him.

He hadn't meant to do it, but he'd looked at him with those eyes and he felt like everything inside of him had snapped, come apart, leaving him a complete mess. He'd been working with him for only a couple of months and he already found himself doing things he said he'd never do. Because he was a professional and he was damn good at his job. That's why he hired him. He could make a sinner look like a saint, a thief look like a god because that was his job. He was the best and they needed him.

 

At least that's what they told him. He was told they needed a "fixer." Erwin said they'd lost control of the press. They were writing up stories he hadn't approved, pulling false quotes from the sky, making him look like a "freak." They were beating him at his own game and he needed him. "We have to make him look…approachable," Erwin told him bluntly, cigar bobbing from his mouth. "He needs a macho persona. We have to make people think he fucks girls on a regular." Eren thought to ask if he did. If Levi did in fact, fuck girls on the regular, but he decided against it. He could easily make the public believe he was a normal, functioning, heterosexual male – whether it was the truth or not.

 

He finally met him on the set of a photo shoot for his upcoming album cover. They were going to call it "Wall Sina" and he had to stop himself from snickering out loud.  _Nice try,_ he figured. Levi was a lot more…pretty in person, he thought to himself. At first glimpse, he almost didn't look real. Like a magical figure that had stepped out of the pages of some magazine. He wasn't as short as people made him up to be. Sure, Eren was much taller but only by a few inches. "Levi, Eren Yeager…Eren, Levi Rivaille," Erwin introduced the two dryly. "He's your new PR guy." He cleared her throat interrupting him. "Fixer, I'm your new fixer," he corrected. Erwin rolled his eyes dramatically. "Either way, he's the one we're paying to make you look good." Levi raised an eyebrow and glance at his direction. "Look good?" "I'm here to help the public see you for who you really are," Eren corrected again. "I'm not here to lie or spin. I'm here to help you make a better impression on the public than the one you've been making." Levi snickered, looked back over at Erwin. "Who is this guy? And why do I care about what the press says about me," he began to say defensively, folding his arms across his chest. "The fans know what to believe –" "Do they, Mr. Rivaille?" he chimed in. "Do you really think the media has no affect on your fans and what they think and what they buy? Please tell me you're not that dense." Levi's eyes widened and his cheeks burned red. 

 

"Whoa, whoa now," Erwin threw up his hands to stop him from saying more. "Let's not get heated here. We're all on the same team." Levi eyed him carefully as he stared daggers back at him. "Are we?" he asked. "Mr.Rivaille, if you want me on your team and you let me do my job, I will be the best thing that has ever happened to you and your image." A grin slowly spread across his face. Then he shrugged. "If you say so." "Great," Eren replied, a forced smile pasted on. "We'll set up a meeting for us next week. I'll check with your assistant for times. Enjoy the rest of your day, Mr.Rivaille," he said sharply and walked away. 

 

A terrible first impression, he thought now. Never did he think that only a short time later he'd be like this. A million miles from home and a million miles away from who he thought he was before. 

 

Eren decided that in order for Levi to look like a sexual male who engaged with females on a consistent basis, he needed to be seen with women. And not an Hange Zoe or a Petra Ral, but someone young enough to be his lover. Still the trick was to always remain mysterious. Be seen with the girls, let the media stir, but never come out and directly say if and who he was seeing. So he set him up with the girl from his video, Hitch. She was pretty and itching for fame so she was perfect. Whenever she did her interviews, Eren would make sure she remained vague about her relationship with Levi. And really, it was easy to control the girl. She wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, to say the least. Levi, on the other hand, was less compliant. 

 

"I'm not faking a relationship with her. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of," he told him during one of their private meetings at his office. Eren smiled, trying to hide his frustration. "Sir, with all due respect that's not what I'm asking you to do." "Then what do you want from me?" Eren sighed for a second as he gathered her thoughts. "I want you…I want you to let people  _think_ that you might be seeing her. Keep it vague, let people wonder about you two. Keep building on that mystery that already surrounds you. And it'll make you look…sexier. More…attractive."

 

Levi looked away quickly, wincing like the word "sexier" or "attractive" physically hurt him. He stared at his hands clasped in front of him on the desk. "And I'm not sexy?" he asked, in a quiet voice. Like a starving child hesitant to ask for another helping. Eren sat back. He hadn't meant to go there. "It's not that you're not…sexy. I mean, it's….Do you want me to tell you the truth, Mr. Rivaille?" Levi looked up at him and thought for a second. He wasn't so sure he wanted to hear his truth. He nodded anyway. "You're attractive. You're sexy. Girls see you dance and they want to take off their panties and take advantage of you. But….at the same time. You present yourself like you're holier than thou. Like you'd never touch a girl, a guy, or let alone have sex. People think you're a virgin, Mr. Rivaille. A thirty-something-year-old virgin. And that's, unfortunately, not so attractive."

 

Eren could tell he was taken aback with his honesty. But it was what he needed to hear. Too many people tip-toed around him and he wasn't going to fall in line with that. He respected Levi too much. Levi scratched at his nose then stood up abruptly. Walked over to the window and peeked through the blinds, trying to appear aloof. Like what he had just said hadn't struck a chord with him. "You do understand image, Mr. Rivaille?" He turned back to look at him. Something about Eren made him feel less than. He was intimidating, determined, and had spunk.  There was no one other person in his life that made him feel that way.

Levi nodded, stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Yeah, I get it. I thought you said you didn't lie." "It's not lying if you're not saying anything, sir." Eren replied back. Levi grinned, nodded again. "Fine," he said and walked back over to his desk. "I'll do it." Eren smiled wickedly. "Good."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh okay so about "Hange Zoe & a Petral Ral" they are both famous actresses who happen to be friends with Levi. They are not interested in him romantically at all.
> 
> If the story seems difficult, and you don't understand it, please tell me. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've tried making it easier to understand. (sorry i'm still getting the hang of archiveofourown!)

Going on tour with Levi Rivaille was like being thrown out of a jet plane with no parachute. At first thought, it sounded like a hell of a time. Flying city to city with the world's biggest superstar. But reality proved different. 

 

They always stuck Eren in the most cramped hotel rooms. The ones at the end of the hall that could easily be mistaken for closets. They were never in a place long enough for his body to adjust to the time zone, so he'd given up on sleep altogether. Instead he'd wander the halls at night, sometimes ending up at a bar in the lobby, other times just walking. 

 

One night he almost jumped out of his skin as he bumped into Levi in the hallway. He had a bucket in his hand and said he was looking for the ice machine. Eren couldn't help but scold him for being out alone like that, he could have easily asked his body guard to do it for him. But the sad look on Levi's face kept him from getting too angry. Eren led him to the ice machine and Levi confessed he couldn't sleep. He hadn't been able to sleep all week and he was tired of watching television in a language he didn't understand. Eren felt for him and promised he wouldn't tell Erwin about his late night rendezvous. 

 

Levi asked him why he was up, if he was having the same problem. If he wanted to come back to his room to watch some movies he brought with him. Eren's heart warmed at the offer, Levi was less of a dick than he thought. But no, he couldn't. It wouldn't be appropriate, he told him. Levi shrugged, wished him a good night and turned to walk back to his room. Eren watched him walk away and instantly felt some sympathy for him. He had all the fame and money in the world and still, he didn't seem happy. 

 

Eren thought about him that night as he laid in bed, trying to fall asleep. He wondered what he was really like around his friends. If he had friends. What was he like as a kid? Hell, did he ever get the chance to be a kid? Had he ever been in love? Had he ever had his heart broken? Did he want a family? And the questions came and went until the star-filled night turned into a new day. 

 

In Rome is when it happened. Levi came to him backstage before one of his shows and asked if he could see him privately in his room. He thought nothing of it and followed him inside. He locked the door behind him and he jumped at the sound. Levi snickered.

 

"You always this tense?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

Eren blushed, shook his head quickly. "I'm not tense, just focused is all. I'm focused on making sure I do the best work I can for you, Mr.Rivaille."

 

"Levi can you please just call me Levi," he said, almost frustrated. He smiled. "Really, it's Levi."

 

Eren nodded slowly. "Okay…I'll keep that in mind--"

 

"Say it," Levi said in a deeper voice than what Eren was used to, a gloomy look shading his icy cold eyes. 

 

Eren looked at him for a moment, oddly feeling tension. "Okay, Levi," he said in a barely audible whisper. "What is it that you needed from me?"

 

Levi smiled again, though the troubled look festered in his eyes. "I wanted to show you something," he said, gesturing for him to sit in his make up chair. Eren complied. 

 

Levi took a step towards him then paused, sighed, looked down at his shoes. 

 

"Is something wrong?" Eren asked quickly, sitting upright in the chair. 

 

He shook his head. "No…well, yes. But there's nothing I can do about it," he said then looked up at Eren. 

 

All of the sudden he began unzipping his costume and Eren's voice caught in his throat. 

 

"Mr.Rivaille," he said with some alarm as he continued to undress in front of him. "I don't…I don't think this is appropriate."

 

Levi stopped, looked at Eren, who was blushing and trying to avoid staring at him. Levi began to giggle. "Calm down, I just want to show you something –"

 

"By taking off your clothes?" Eren questioned, appalled with his behavior. He began to stand up. "Mr. Rivaille, I'm sorry if you thought--"

 

"Wait," he stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Just, let me."

 

And in that moment, something inside of Eren woke up. The chill in Levi's eyes sent a shiver down his spine and froze him in place. He was stuck. 

 

Levi held out his arm in front of him. It was then that Eren realized he hadn't ever seen Levi's arms, his legs, or any other part of him other than his face. He was always covered in jackets and sweaters, even when it was 90 degrees outside or he had just finished a show and he was drenched in sweat. But he never thought he was hiding something. 

 

Levi's skin was covered with scars. Part of his skin looked like it had been tied to a rope, making to look darker against his creamy white skin. They were scattered all over and up his arm, up to his neck. Levi kept his eyes on the floor letting him look at him like that. 

 

"It's permanent," Levi said after a moment. "I thought I should tell you so you could start thinking up ways for me to explain it to the public…"

 

Eren looked up at him, shook his head. "I'm sorry. I don't understand. What is this?" he asked as he reached out and grabbed Levi's arm, rubbed his thumb over his skin. He felt Levi shudder underneath his hand, then he yank his arm away, began to zip back up his costume. 

 

"It's not contagious, don't worry," Levi said, all of the sudden sounding upset. "I was born with it, my parents used to tell me those were birthmarks. How I had died in my past life and what not. I don't really believe it, never did. I don't really show my skin, because I want look normal," he forced out a chuckle. " _Me_  look normal," he said glancing at himself in the mirror. "It's worth a try, I guess."

 

Eren stood there, confused by all that Levi was trying to tell him. He had an odd way of communicating his thoughts. 

 

Levi looked at Eren and smiled. "You said you fix things, right?"

 

Eren nodded. 

 

"Good," he said and then walked to the door, left. Levi walked out and left Eren feeling cold, confused. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I made Levi have small scars and those 3D maneuver gear bruises, except his are permanent. I don't know if I want to do a reincarnation fic bu we'll see how the story goes.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Please tell me if it was easier to understand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning to update everyday, but yesterday I got home from work and was knocked out! lol my apologies.

Later that night, or that morning, the phone in Eren's hotel room rang. He had fallen asleep with the TV on and had no idea what time it was or who would be calling him.

 

A groggy voice greeted him, asked if he woke him. 

 

"No," he lied, sitting up, trying to sound awake. He heard him laugh. "Is there something I can help you with, sir?"

 

"Are you busy?" he asked. 

 

"Actually, yeah. I'm entertaining company right now at --" he stretched to read the clock. "Four o'clock in the morning."

 

He giggled. "Are you being smug with me?"

 

"Am I?"

 

"...I have to ask you a question…"

 

"Yes, sir?"

 

"How am I…How am I supposed to exactly  _look_ like I'm…involved with someone romantically?"

 

"…Well, you…Haven't you ever been involved with a woman before?"

 

Levi paused for a moment. "…Yeah. But…that was a long time ago…"

 

"Have you forgotten what it's like to be with a woman?"

 

"Uhm…I don't know…" 

 

Eren could hear his embarrassment. 

 

"Listen, Mr.Rivaille –"

 

"Levi."

 

"Okay,  _Levi._  Think back to the last time you were in love with somebody. Remember how it made you feel. How you acted around them."

 

"It would be easier if I didn't have to pretend…"

 

Eren thought for a second. "Okay…well then maybe you should really start dating someone."

 

He snickered. "Start dating? Do you really think I have the time to do that?"

 

"You're Levi Rivaille, you can make time for whatever you want."

 

"…I guess."

 

"Listen, Mr. – Levi, if you want me to find you the girl of your dreams, I can do that."

 

Levi laughed out loud. "Mr.Yeager, I can't ask you to do that –"

 

"It's my job. I'm here to do whatever it takes to make –"

 

"Me look like I fuck girls on the regular," Levi finished for him. "I know, I overheard Erwin telling you that."

 

Eren was shocked to hear him talk like that, shocked and strangely intrigued. 

 

"Look, Mr.Yeager, If that's what you want to do, fine. Enjoy the rest of your night," he said then hung up the phone. 

 

Eren didn't go back to sleep that night. Or the next. Or the next. Every night Levi called him, asking him different questions. Sometimes about women, sometimes about work. One night Levi asked him about himself. How he got into this business. How he ended up working for him.

 

"You used to work for the  _President,"_ he said in childlike wonderment. "Why in the world are you here with me?"

 

Eren couldn't help but blush and laugh. "I go where I'm needed."

 

"I must really be a piece of work, huh?" 

 

Erne could hear the heaviness, the sadness cloaked in his voice. "You know what I think?"

 

"Hmm?" Levi responded.

 

"I think that if people knew what you were really like they'd like you even more than they already do…"

 

"I don't know about that…" Levi said, obviously not believing what Eren had told him.

 

"You should do more interviews. Give people the chance to really see what you're like. Open yourself up more." Eren encouraged.

 

Levi sighed heavily. "I'm really not that interesting. I think people would be disappointed."

 

"Um, you're interesting to me, Mr.Rivaille"

 

Levi started to laugh, a real laugh. A laugh that made Eren want to laugh. Made him want to run, made him want to fly. 

 

Then he started to panic. What was this? What was he doing on the phone with Levi every night? What were these giddy feelings he got every time he saw Levi come into the room? They had to stop. 

 

The next night Eren didn't answer the phone. He knew it was Levi and he couldn't deal with hearing his voice anymore. He was here to do his job, so he went to work.

 

He started scoping out girls he thought would be good for Levi. They couldn't work for him and they couldn't be a fan, so that weeded out 85% of the girls around. He really thought Hitch would be a good fit for him, but after she'd kissed him onstage one night, Levi had her kicked off the tour – claiming Hitch had taken advantage of him. Eren felt like there was more to that story, but he left it alone for now. 

 

Eren showed up to Levi's suite one day during one of their days off, portfolio in hand. One of his bodyguards opened the door and he asked to come in but he turned him away.

 

"Mr.Rivaille didn't say he was expecting company. I'm sorry, Mr.Yeager –"

 

"Let him in!" he heard Levi call from inside the suite. He smirked as the bodyguard stepped aside to let him through. He closed the door behind him, leaving him alone inside. 

 

"Um, Mr.Rivaille?" Eren called out as he took a look around, finding him nowhere. "I know it's your day off, but I wanted to go over some things that we talked about…if that's okay with you?" 

 

Eren suddenly felt Levi standing behind him and turned around abruptly. Levi was still in his pajamas – a thin, white cotton shirt and flannel bottoms – his hair was wet, making his hair stick to his face. 

 

"You know you're not being paid for your time today, right?" Levi questioned, taking the portfolio from his hands and moving to take a seat on the couch. He smiled, looking up at Eren.

 

"A day off doesn't mean I'm not working, sir. I brought over some files on a couple of girls I think you should look into. You can look them over and see if any of them seem interesting, then I'll move from there."

 

He nodded, placing the portfolio on the coffee table. "Sounds good."

 

"Great! Enjoy your day off, Mr.Rivaille," he said and began to walk to the door. 

 

"Eren," he called out, stopping him from going. 

 

Eren turned to face him. "Yes, sir?"

 

He stood up and walked to her. "Levi, my name is _Levi,_  It's our day off, the least you can do is call me by my name. Is that clear?" he asked, looking him square in the eye.

 

He could only nod. 

 

"Good. Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

 

Eren wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole right then and there. 

 

"Calls? What calls?" he lied, trying to appear truly puzzled.

 

He folded his arms, tilted his hips to the side. "Gee, I've been calling you nearly every night. I guess I didn't think about the fact that you could've been sleeping, huh?" He giggled and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I thought you had been ignoring me or something."

 

"Oh…oh yeah I must've been asleep. I'd…I'd never," Eren said, smiling uncomfortably. 

 

"I know, because you never stop working, Eren. You should relax sometimes…" 

 

Eren nodded slowly. "There's a possibility you could be right, I guess."

 

Levi smiled. "See, you fix me…I fix you."

 

Eren began to laugh. "Fix me?" 

 

He raised a brow then let his eyes wander down Eren's body. "Mmhmm, I see some work that could be done…"

 

Eren choked on his own breath, realizing he had somehow forgotten to breathe. Was Levi…no, no he couldn't be.

 

Eren smiled politely. "I'm going to go now…Levi," he whispered. "Call me if you need me," he said then turned to go. 

 

That night Eren froze at the sound of the phone going off. Every part of him knew not to pick it up, to stop letting this happen. But every part of him wanted it. 

 

"Hello?"

 

"…Hi. Am I waking you?"

 

"Does it matter?"

 

"No…"

 

"What can I do for you, sir?"

 

"Stop talking to me like that, okay," he told him, seriousness in his voice. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm very comfortable with the people I keep close to me. Erwin, Hange Zoe, Petra, and…they don't talk to me like that."

 

"I talk to you like that because I respect you –"

 

"So they don't?"

 

"I'm not saying that exactly, I'm saying –"

 

"If you want to keep this job you might want to start doing what I tell you to do." Levi replied, sternly.

 

Eren felt his body go stiff. Levi had never been this stern with him. 

 

"…is that a threat?"

 

"It's a promise," Levi said then hung up the phone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, tell me what ya'll think! Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things start to get interesting...  
> surprise update? lol i felt like writing

The next day Levi came to Eren's hotel room, a photo in hand. 

 

"This girl," he said, holding it up for him to see. "If I had to choose, I'd pick her."

 

Eren took the photo from his hand, smirked. 

 

"Baylea Brown, 26 years old, law school graduate turned underwear model – I'm not surprised," Eren giggled to himself.

 

"She seems respectable at least. I wouldn't mind actually getting to know her."

 

Eren nodded. "Okay, good. I'll set this up."

 

He nodded with Eren.

 

"Anything else you need from me…Levi?"

 

Levi smiled, shook his head.

 

"Great, I'll get to work on this," he said, opening the door for him to leave. 

 

Levi stepped out to go, but made sure to press against Eren as he did. Eren closed his eyes to take in Levi's scent, spicy, dark yet sweet. Instead of moving, Levi stayed there for a second, watching Eren. He could feel Eren's heart beating in his own throat. 

 

"Good," Levi whispered after a moment then walked away. And all Eren wanted to do was collapse onto the floor.  

 

Eren was convinced he was losing it when Levi called him a week later, asked him to come to his room. He knew to say no, it could only be trouble. But he said okay anyway, he'd be over in a second. 

 

Levi opened the door and pulled Eren into the room quickly, hoping nobody saw him in the hall. Eren tried to say something, but his lips were pressed against Levi's before he could utter a word. 

 

Everything stopped in that moment. The world stopped spinning, he stopped thinking, breathing. His body went limp as Levi pushed him up against the wall, his mouth all over him, hands all over him. Eren started to tremble as Levi's hands moved down his body, near his dick. The more Levi kissed him, the more intoxicated, the weaker he felt. 

 

This was wrong, so wrong. And he knew it, but he kept telling himself only a second longer, only a minute longer. 

 

A minute turned into half an hour and he found herself in bed with Levi, he was naked on top of him. Levi kept kissing him, kissing him until Levi's chest burned and he had to come up for air. Eren told himself that if Levi wasn't who he was and if he wasn't who he was he could feel okay about this. Because what Levi was doing to his body was more than okay. 

He prepared Eren slowly. To make it last longer, there's no say. Levi craved Eren. Ever since he first met him, he was sprung. Somewhere deep inside of him, he wanted to break Eren. He wanted to watch those amber, mixed with teal and other beautiful colors eyes become dull, yet would shine bright for him, only him. He wanted Eren for himself.

Levi pushed into Eren deeply, teeth scraping down his neck. Eren had to scream out loud, he had to shout Levi's name. Levi danced inside of him and kissed him like he meant something to him, like he was more than this one night. 

 

When Levi came, it felt like every nerve on his body seemed to explode with him, leaving him tingling all over. He collapsed on top of Eren, sweating, shaking, trembling. 

 

Eren didn't even know how he got back to his room. He just knew he didn't feel the same, he didn't look the same to himself. He  _never_ mixed business with pleasure – and this was the greatest sin of them all. He could go on and pretend like it never happened, which he was very good at doing. But if Levi looked at him again, like the way he did tonight, everything in him would snap again and it would happen again, and again, and again. 

 

Eren wrote his letter of resignation that morning, and stared at it for a long time. The shrill sound of the phone ringing shook him out of his trance, but he hesitated picking it up. 

 

"…hello?" he answered, barely audible. 

 

"Eren, it's Levi."

 

This first-name-basis thing made his sin feel even more real, made him feel more guilty. 

 

"Levi, listen –"

 

"About last night," Levi started to say. "I hope you don't think I meant for that to happen. It was just –"

 

"You don't have to lie to me –"

 

"I'm not lying to you. I just…I didn't…Eren –"

 

"It was a mistake. A huge mistake…but, but we can move past it," Eren asserted, staring down at the letter in his hand. Knowing he couldn't leave like that. Not yet. "We're adults, Levi. Things happen. But we're professionals and you're my boss. Let's act like it."

 

Eren heard him clear his throat. "Okay," he said after a moment. "It won't happen again."


	5. Chapter 5

But it did. It happened again. In different cities, in dressing rooms, in trailers, before shows, after shows, between meetings. Levi would look at him the way he did and every defense he put up came tumbling down. 

 

The way Levi kissed Eren made him feel more than alive. Made him feel superhuman. And in those little moments they shared, whether Eren was pressed against a wall or buried underneath the sheets, he felt like he was Levi's. Nobody was left in the world, and they were the only two who mattered. 

 

But Eren knew it wasn't real.

 

He noticed how his hotel rooms started to get closer to his. In one city Levi even had them connected, telling outsiders he needed Eren close so they could discuss some very important progressions in his life. Nobody thought anything of it. No one noticed how Levi looked at him during his rehearsals. When he'd brush up against him purposely. Let his fingers linger against his after an innocent hand shake. 

 

If only the world saw this Levi, then his job would be done. 

 

Eventually he got the Baylea Brown girl to come overseas and agree to a date with Levi. She was skeptical, but Eren convinced her that Levi was nothing but a gentlemen and was sincerely interested in getting to know her. 

 

He picked out her outfit for her. Something sleek and classy but sexy. Cleavage but not too much, make-up subtle. Eren told her that Levi was attracted to smart girls, so she shouldn't be afraid to be intellectual. He also told her Levi was shy, so she probably had to be the aggressor. 

 

He set them up for a date at Ze Kitchen Galerie, one of the finest Parisian restaurants, and made sure paparazzi were on hand. Levi was dressed handsomely in a blazer, button-up, and black jeans, looking as dapper as ever. Eren rode with Levi in the limo on the way to meet Baylea, and he could tell that Levi was nervous, the way he kept drumming his fingers against the panel, tapping his foot. 

 

He placed a hand on his knee to stop him. Levi looked up at him. 

 

"Levi, it's going to be fine. You'll love her," he tried reassuring him, smiling.

 

Levi looked at him for a moment then turned to look back out of the window. 

 

Eren didn't understand what his issue was. Levi had been acting distant all day and now he could barely look at him.

 

They pulled up to the restaurant and paparazzi had already begun to swarm the vehicle like roaches. Levi pulled a mirror from his coat pocket and checked himself one last time. 

 

"You look fine, Levi," he said, moving to him to fix his collar. "Just relax and be yourself. I swear you might actually enjoy it."

 

Levi smirked a little but didn't look in her eyes. His body guard opened the door and helped him out of the limo, guided him through the heinous crowd. Eren stayed behind, promised to wait for him until he got back. 

 

Inside, Levi and Baylea dined for over an hour. She was a gorgeous girl, black hair flowing down her back, caramel-colored skin, eyes the color of honey. He found himself even more smitten with her in person. Conversation was light, but flowed easy and he actually found himself attracted to her.

 

On the way out, the paps were going crazy. Snapping photos of the two of them leaving, arm in arm. His body guard led the two of them to the limo, with Eren waiting inside. It was a picture perfect moment, and Eren could already see the photos plastered inside of every tabloid, every newspaper. "LEVI RIVAILLE'S NEW LADY" the headlines would read. "LEVI RIVAILLE'S SEXY NEW LOVE LIFE" It was perfect. 

 

Baylea slid into the limo first, laughing hysterically with Levi following behind. They genuinely looked happy together and Eren beamed with pride. 

 

"So, how'd it go?" he asked eagerly, sitting in the seat across from them. Levi placed his arm over Baylea's shoulder. 

 

"I had a nice time," he said looking down at her. "Did you?"

 

She smiled, blushed. "It was fabulous," she said with a breathy sigh. "I had no idea you were so…normal!" 

 

She began to laugh, Levi smiled but looked away uncomfortably. 

 

"Well, good. I'm glad you two enjoyed yourselves," Eren replied, eyes on Levi. "So Baylea, how long do you plan on staying in Paris?"

 

"Oh, you know I don't know actually," she said then looked over at Levi which, for some reason, made Eren feel uneasy. "I hadn't planned on staying that long…but now…"

 

Levi looked over at Baylea, and smiled. Eren could see the hesitation in his eyes, that split second of him questioning it. But he gave in. Baylea kissed him and he kissed her back and Eren wanted to jump out of the window. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first i'd like to apoligize for not updating, but i have the most messed up sleeping schedule & school is just blah... second, it has come to my attention that some words are changed on my story so i would like to apoligize if i get ya'll confused (im going to fix it soon, give me time) ;_; please comment or give me some kudos if you like the story but anyways let me stop blabbering

Later that night, after Baylea left, Levi came to Eren's room –knocking, banging on the door. Eren rushed to the door and opened it, thinking there was some emergency. Instead he was met with Levi's face and those eyes. 

 

Levi pushed his way into the room and pulled Eren into his arms, kissing him fiercely, roughly, then softly, lovingly. Eren relaxed into Levi  and let him guide him to the bed. Let him undress him. Let him touch him. 

 

Afterwards they laid there, panting like they'd just finished running a marathon. They never touched when they finished, but this time he rested his head against Eren's chest, rubbed his stomach, admiring his hard abs yet soft skin lightly with his fingers, Eren's  fingers played carefully in his hair. They had never talked after either, but Levi broke the silence first.

 

"Do you think it worked?" he asked.

 

Eren was caught off guard, looked down at him. 

 

"What worked?"

 

Levi sat up to look down at Eren and he instantly wished he didn't. Levi's eyes made him feel outside of himself, weak, vulnerable, unsure about anything in his life. Was the sky really blue? 

 

"The set up…the whole thing with Baylea. Do you think it worked? The paparazzi was going crazy snapping pictures. I think it worked," he said then laid his head back on Eren's chest. "You're a genius," he said then placed a kiss on Eren's stomach. 

 

A quizzical look painted Eren's face. "…Levi, I set you two up with the intention that…that you would really start dating her. Didn't you say you liked her?"

 

Levi looked up at him with a quizzical look of his own. "I guess…but I thought…this is a game, right? She knew what this was, right? It wasn't real…right?"

 

A look of horror covered his face. Eren began to sit up, causing Levi to do the same. He slipped out of the bed and began to put his clothes on, tossing Levi's clothes to him. 

 

"Levi, you need to go," he started to say, frantically pulling his shirt over his head. "This is wrong. I set you up with a really nice girl who deserves to be happy, and you deserve to be happy and here I am lying in bed with you. How could I be so stupid?"  Eren began to ramble on, Levi staring at him in bewilderment. 

 

"Eren, I –" Levi tried to get his attention but Eren  kept rambling to himself, pacing the floor back and forth. 

 

"Eren, I'm sorry I thought –"

 

"LEVI, GO!  _Please,_ " Eren begged, tears brimming his eyes. "This--none of this should've happened. Now please….leave."

 

Embarrassed, cheeks burning red. Levi gathered his clothes quickly, getting dressed as fast as he could. Eren hadn't mean to yell and he didn't want Levi to go, but he had to. He had to leave, Eren couldn't think right when he was there. 

 

"Eren, I'm sorry…and you're right," he said softly before he left. He opened his mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. Levi turned and left and, for the first time in years, Eren let himself cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is short (compared to other chapters) but i plan on updating later at night! (hopefully!) thanks for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my day was going great, but someone had to ruin it. (i'm very angry) this chapter may not be one of my best, I'll apologize in advance. Also, I have a busy schedule so there's a chance I may not be able to update at all until next week.

Eren didn't speak one-on-one with Levi for weeks. Only when he was with Erwin and it was always strictly business. He was back to the crappy, cramped hotel rooms at the end of the hall where no one would see him, remember him. 

 

He found himself at hotel bars a lot more often. Missing home, missing his family, missing normalcy. He never let himself feel weak or defeated, but something about this tour made those the only emotions he could feel. He was tired all the time and always on edge. He nearly clocked out one of Levi's tour dancers when he put his hand on his thigh at the dinner table one night. Instead he jammed his foot into his crotch and excused himself to his room. 

 

He hadn't connected with anyone on the tour really, at the most, he felt like he could call Mina Carolina a friend. Although he hated the way Mina always gushed over Levi and clung to him like a little puppy. 

 

"I hear you set him up with that girl he's seeing," Mina whispered to him one afternoon at a video shoot. 

 

Eren shrugged, tried to appear unaffected. 

 

Ever since he set Levi up with Baylea, their photos were – like he expected– on the front of every newspaper and magazine, the leading story on new stations all over. He went from weirdo, asexual, recluse to mysterious, masculine, and even sexy. It was some of Erens best work. 

 

Baylea started traveling with them on tour a couple of weeks ago. And if Eren was questioning jumping ship before, he definitely wanted to now. They were always together backstage, whispering in each other's ears, holding hands – it made him sick.  

 

One day Baylea approached him giddily, a card in hand. 

 

"Eren! Eren!" she called out to him, running over. "I wanted to give you something."

 

Eren took it hesitantly, feigning happiness and surprise. "Oh wow! What is it?"

 

"Open it!" she said excitedly. "It's from me and Levi."

 

A lump formed in his throat. "Okay…" he said and opened the envelope Baylea handed to him. Inside was a card, a thank-you card. Signed by both Baylea…and Levi. 

 

"We're truly, truly thankful you put the two of us together. He's the most amazing man I ever met and I'm falling for him more and more every day," she gushed. "I have to admit, I was skeptical at first. But…I don't know…he's different. So different from what I thought. And now that we've taken our relationship to the next level, I just – we just wanted to thank the man who put the two of us together."

 

Eren saw her lips moving but couldn't make out what she was saying after the whole "taking our relationship to the next level" part. The world around him started to spin and he felt like he was really going to be sick. 

 

"Are you okay?" Baylea asked, seeing Eren gag. 

 

He smiled. "I'm-I'm okay," he lied. "I'm…surprised. Thank you, I appreciate this a lot. I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me, I have to go," he said then briskly walked away. 

 

A week later he was called into a meeting with Erwin, and he was more than positive she was being fired.  _Oh well,_ he thought to himself. His work here was done anyway, right? He was "macho" now, right?

 

He was surprised to find Erwin praising him, telling him how genius he was for setting Michael up with "that girl." He thought it would be trouble at first, disappointing the fans. But it only made people more intrigued with him, and the fans loved him even more. 

 

"I just need you to keep her in line," Erwin told him. "I have some big things in the works and if she breaks his little heart, I'll have to break her little neck…understand?"

 

Eren nodded slowly. 

 

"Levi's sensitive, okay? So keep her in line. Let her know if she brings down this ship, I'll bring down her whole world."

 

Eren got the vibe that Erwin's threats held a lot of weight and he took them very seriously. 

 

"Levi's agreed to do an interview with that journalist lady – what's her name, uhhh – Lola…Lola Parks. It's his first interview in years and she's the only one he's trusted to do it. And you're the only one he trusts in prepping him for it, so we've scheduled a time for you two to meet tomorrow. The interview's Thursday and you're responsible for the whole thing. It'll be great, I know it."

 

He tried not to let the worry he felt read on his face, but his stomach was nearly flipping inside out. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ya'll! i'm back, sorry for the delay.

They met at 2:30 the next day. Eren had never been so nervous for a meeting in his life, his hands trembled in anticipation. He knocked at Levi's door expecting to be greeted by a guard but it was him. Levi smiled at him faintly then let him in. 

 

Even though Eren saw him every day, he felt like he hadn't seen Levi in months, years. He looked relaxed, refreshed. 

 

He thought Baylea would come barging in at any moment, but she didn't. It was just  the two of them. Alone. Levi offered him a drink and he told him he was fine. He promised this wouldn't take long as they found seats on opposite ends of the couch. Eren pulled out his notes and started going over them, one by one. What he should talk about, what he shouldn't. What Lola might ask him, how he should answer. He covered everything. 

 

Halfway through he could feel Levi's eyes on him, but he dared not look up at him. He was doing a job, he told himself. He couldn't let Levi keep doing that to him.  

 

"Eren," he called out to him, interrupting him mid-speech. "Look at me."

 

He kept his eyes on his notes. "Levi, we have to finish –"

 

"Please, look at me," he pleaded. "Look at me."

 

He gulped hard and prayed that his eyes wouldn't undo him the way they always did. Eren lifted his head slowly, and let his eyes take their time reaching his face. Levi's beautiful, beautiful face. 

 

"What?" he asked, feeling emotional for whatever complicated reasons. "What do you want from me?"

 

Levi reached out his hand to touch his face, but he pulled away, moved further back on the couch. 

 

"Don't," he warned. 

 

"Eren –"

 

"Levi, I did what you wanted. I set you up with somebody nice. Somebody you can truly care about. What more could you want from me?"

 

Levi moved closer to him, now he couldn't escape, had nowhere to go. Levi pulled his face to his, making him look at him. 

 

"I think you know what I want," he said in a near growl, his eyes on fire. 

 

"Levi, we ca-can't," he stuttered, melting fast. "P-please."

 

"Why can't we…why can't we just pretend?" he questioned, closing his eyes and breathing against Eren's lips. "Just pretend like you're not who you are, I'm not who I am…for just a little while…please."

 

Eren closed his eyes, fighting within his own self. "Levi... Baylea. What about her?"

 

"She has nothing to do with us."

 

"But you're seeing her. You can't – we can't –"

 

Levi pulled away from Eren. "We can. We can if we want to," he stared at Eren. "What do you want?"

 

He pulled away and stood up and away from him. "I work for you,  _Mr. Rivaille._ This is not an appropriate relationship. Baylea is falling in love with you and I don't want you to mess that up."

 

Levi stood up. "I don't want her to fall in love with me," he said, shaking his head. "I want you to."

 

Eren opened his mouth to speak, but Levi's lips beat him to it. Levi kissed him feverishly, forcefully and he kissed him back just as fervently. Fingers tangled in each others hair. Words no longer meaning anything, if they ever did. They didn't make it to a bed, just took each other there. Papers scattered underneath them, ink smearing against their skin. 

"Good God!" Eren grunted, biting the inside of his hand as Levi blew on his sensitive bud, sending his nerve endings into pure havoc.

Levi stopped, and went down low. He prepared Eren slowly. He pushed his tounge into Eren's tight twitching hole. He added a finger and was thrilled to feel Eren's tightness around his finger. He looked at Eren who was panting and had his eyes closed. That will not do. "Eren look at me."

Eren slowly opens his eyes and looks up at Levi.

Levi's grinning from ear to ear.

"Your body is so responsive, Eren." Levi smiles then licks his lips. He kisses Eren's collar bone then slowly pushes into Eren.

 Levi's voice whispering his name against his neck made him feel like he was home. Like he had fulfilled every purpose in his life and this was it, he was home. They came at the same time, shuddering together, holding on to each other for dear life. Levi kept whispered his name into his hair as his body continued to jerk. Coming down from the high, he wanted to cry. Felt the intense need to be emotional, yell at him, ask him why he did this to him. How he could make him, Eren who has so much power, so much pride feel so weak, stupid, less than. How?

 

But he didn't. He just laid there. Wrapped his arms around Levi tightly and buried his face into his neck, praying this would never end. Let the world just stop and let this never end. 

 

The next day Levi did his interview with Lola Parks. Eren was called on set to sit in, make sure everything was going according to plan. When Lola asked him about his love life, Levi hesitated before answering. Was he seeing someone? He smiled shyly, nodded "yes." Was it serious? He told her it was. Was he in love?, she asked. "Madly," Levi replied. All while staring at Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how does someone write smut ;_; loooooool i don't feel confident about this chapter but thanks for reading


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like ya'll think i'm not making any progression in this story.. but it is very slow build so yeah (sorry.)  
> WARNING: This chapter might make you feel a bit uncomfortable

In London Eren noticed a change. A change in the way that Levi looked at him, spoke to him in front of others, in private. The way he held him after they'd been together, whisper things into his hair. 

 

Baylea dropped off the tour in the last city, she'd gotten a gig with Agent Provocateur, promised to meet them in the next city. She'd all of the sudden become this huge tabloid star, paparazzi watching her every move, digging up secrets from her past. One paper said she'd murdered her last boyfriend by slipping cyanide in his soup, another said she was really a man, had a sex change in Antigua.

 

Baylea, like Michael, was a sensitive girl, but unlike Levi, she wore her heart on her sleeve.

 

"Make them stop, Eren!" she yelled at him on the flight over to England, tabloid papers in her hand. "That's your job, right?" She was in hysterics.

 

"It's the tabloid press, Baylea. Everybody knows majority of their stories are pure fantasy, fiction," he assured her. 

 

"They called my parents, you know," she said, tears pouring down her face. "They asked…they asked them if they knew about…about my previous miscarriage. How'd…how'd they know about that, huh?" she questioned, a wild look in her eyes.

 

Eren shook his head, looking for the right thing to say. Baylea leaned into him, daggers in her eyes. 

 

"Make them stop it, Eren," she snarled at him. "Or else we'll find someone who will."

 

From that point forward, Eren knew Baylea was trouble. The power was getting to her head, she thought it was her tour, she thought she was Levi Rivaille. She started ordering people around, talking any kind of way. 

 

One night Levi called him, told him Baylea was in the shower. But they'd had a fight, he thinks she's sleeping around with one of his dancers. Eren could hear the disappointment in his voice, he even wanted to call him a hypocrite, but it was obvious Levi had real feelings for the girl. 

 

"I don't think I'm the type to get married, you know?" Levi confessed to him. "I don't think my lifestyle would ever allow it…"

 

Eren felt that turning in his stomach again, tried to sound unmoved.

 

"I think you can do whatever you want to do, Levi. If you fall in love somewhere down the road, meet the right girl, you'll know it. You'll have no choice but to marry her."

 

"Hmm, I don't know," he started to say. "I'm terrible at relationships."

 

"I don't think you are…"

 

"You don't believe anything I say, do you?" Levi asked all of the sudden.

 

"I-what do you mean?"

 

"Forget it, I have to go," he said then hung up.  

 

A week later they're in Levi's trailer on the set of a movie he'd been working on. Eren's naked body's against the mirror and Levi's thrusting into him like he never had before. His nails are gripping into Eren's sides, drawing blood, but he doesn't care. Doesn't stop when Eren shouts in pain, when he pleads with him to slow down. Instead he speeds up, pumps and pumps until he's there. Stars are exploding behind his eyes and Eren feels weak, sick. 

 

In a minute, Levi's off of him, zipping up his clothes, buckling his buckles, then out of the door. Leaving Eren there, stripped, bleeding. 

 

And that's when he realized that this was all it was. This was all it would ever be. Levi fucking him, leaving him, killing him slowly each time. At night he thought of him, always. Wanted to call him, but knew he couldn't. Because past business hours Eren didn't hold that power, Levi did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me tell ya'll what happened to me -__- so, i thought my day couldn't get worse but of course i was wrong. it starts to rain while i'm walking home and i had to run home but it was too late, i was soaking wet. (life is so unfair to me sigh) but anyways here ya go!!!

In Spain Eren noticed the change in himself. When he saw Levi with Baylea he wanted to die. Find the nearest lake, river, ocean, and dive in, drown.

 

He called Mikasa back home to latch on to some sense of familiarity of himself, hoped she could remind him of who he was. He told her he had been sleeping with this guy on the tour. He really liked him and wanted it to be serious, but he had a girl back home. Mikasa scolded him, told him to jump ship, leave it alone. Never get involved with the already involved, it's only trouble, she told him. And she was right, he knew she was. But what if he couldn't just leave it alone? What if he was already in too deep? Mikasa told him to put himself in the girl's shoes, he was being unfair, unprofessional, a home wrecker, all the above. 

 

Eren knew all of this…he just needed to hear it from somebody else. He had to put an end to this madness. Levi had to be with Baylea because Baylea was the kind of girl he could be with. Be seen with in public and no one would question it. They could go on, get married, have kids, grow old and die together. Eren wasn't right for him. He had a reputation, an image of his own to uphold. No way in hell could Levi Rivaille be with Eren Yeager, the professional fixer. The man who covered up mind-blowing scandals on a regular, sweet-talked the press into believing anything, manipulated people for a living. They couldn't be together. Eren couldn't be with anybody. 

 

He showed up at Levi's room the next night. He'd been trying to fall asleep but knew he couldn't until he fixed this situation. The guard answered the door, asked if he could help him. He handed him a note he'd written, told him to give it to Levi as soon as possible, it was of extreme importance. 

 

Ten minutes later there was a knock at his door. He opened it hesitantly.

 

"What is this?" Levi asked, holding the paper up in his hand. 

 

Eren looked at it, looked at him, walked back into the room. 

 

"You read it, didn't you?" he asked, going back to his suitcase, packing it. "You shouldn't be here."

 

Levi's eyes widened in terror.

 

" _What_ are you doing, Eren?"

 

"You read the letter, right?"

 

"Eren…"

 

"Levi…"

 

"Stop it…" Levi said in a small voice, brimming with anger. 

 

"I wrote everything that needed to be said in that letter, Levi. I don't even know why you're here," he said, closing his suitcase, struggling to zip it. 

 

"You know why I'm here," he said, voice low. "You can't just leave something like this for me and expect me not to come talk to you. Now, tell me what's going on."

 

He felt the palm of Levi's hand on his lower back and he jumped, it burned like fire. Eren moved away quickly.

 

"Please, don't touch me," he warned, turning to Levi but eyes on the floor. "My work here is done," he started to say, voice trembling. "I've done all I can for you and it's time for me to go. So please, let me leave," he said, went back to zipping his suitcase.

 

"Was it something I did?" Levi asked, moving into him, but Eren put his hands up, stopped Levi in his tracks. "You can't leave," Levi whispered. 

 

Eren nodded. "Yes, I can. You read the letter. I no longer work for you,  _Mr. Rivaille._ I have things I need to tend to back home. My time here with you is over, done," he said, finding some strength within himself to sound strong, brave. 

 

"What do you want from me?" Levi asked in harsh whisper, growing more angry by the second. "Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it, I swear to you," Levi moved to him again, Eren pushed him away but Levi grabbed his hand, pulled him close to him. "Huh?"

 

Eren yanked himself away. "I want you to leave me alone!" he shouted in frustration. "Let me go and  _leave_ me alone."

 

Eren felt like he would start crying anytime soon, and he didn't even know why. They weren't together. Hell, Levi rarely spoke to him. But it hurt, this hurt, and he had to go – for his own good. 

 

"But…but I think love you," Levi said after a moment, softness returning to his voice.

 

Eren turned to him sharply, held up a finger. "Don't you  _dare_  lie to me."

 

"Fine!" Levi shouted. "You're right, I don't," he turned and started to walk out, but stopped himself. "But I could be…I could be in love with you. If you just…If we just…" he struggled to find the words to say to Eren. With Eren looking at him like that. With those eyes, showing nothing but pain and anger. Like he disgusted him, like he was repulsive. "Forget it," Levi finally said then walked to the door, took a deep breath and left for good. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

Back at home Eren's a different person. The world's a different place. His life feels muted, dull, dead. People around him who work for him tell him they noticed a change, like something traumatic happened with his last client, whoever his last client was, since he refused to talk about them. Even though they had completely consumed the last _**six months**_ of his life. 

 

He thought maybe he needed time off, time to get his head back together. But being idle only drove him crazy, made him think of Levi. So he dove back into work head first, barely coming up for anything else. 

 

His new client was a piece of work. A regular Hollywood bad boy whose parents had always given him everything he wanted in life, and now they wanted to hand over their company, too. But, they needed him to clean up his act, look responsible, gain the public's trust. 

 

It was a good distraction for Eren, especially with all of the news surrounding Levi and Baylea lately. Rumor had it that Baylea had been seen snooping around with a gaggle of different guys lately, most notably Nile Dok. Photos of the two of them sneaking out of some hotel in New York had been all over the place, and of course, the press was having a field day. Eren didn't know if it was true or not, he'd completely cut all ties with the situation. But he did know Baylea was trouble, and he bet all of his money Erwin was livid. He just hoped the poor girl wouldn't be found on the side of some river bank, "mysteriously" drowned. 

 

Three weeks later Erwin called him, begged him to come back, fix this mess before he did. Eren refused, told him that he had his own clients here that he needed to take care of. Erwin promised him they just needed a weekend visit. They were in Tokyo, all he had to do was come see the damage, talk to Levi, talk to his people, help them figure out what to do next. He didn't want to do it, but he didn't know how to say no without sounding like it was personal. And business was never personal.

 

He told himself to suck it up, pull himself together, handle it, fix this for Erwin. He'd been separated from Levi long enough to gain some of that old strength back. Levi didn't have power over him anymore. He was his boss, and that was it.

 

Eren came with a game plan. He'd only talk business with Levi, and once his work was done, he was leaving. Plain and simple. 

 

He arrived briefcase in hand, enough clothes for a couple of days in his bag. He'd been mentally prepping himself for this meeting for a week now, and he finally felt ready, almost back to his true self. The meeting was set to take place on the executive floor of an office building in downtown Tokyo, Sony headquarters.  

 

Erwin greeted him at the door, thanked him for coming, led him to the elevator. He told him that Levi hadn't heard from Baylea in a week and he was a wreck. Barely talking, barely eating, not sleeping at all. Eren reminded Erwin that he wasn't a therapist, what was the damage to his image, that's what mattered to him. Erwin told him that the papers were now saying the whole relationship was a sham, a set up. They were never really together, she was a cover-up for his "homosexual exploits." Eren almost laughed out loud. He felt his mind slipping, losing focus, reminiscing, but he stopped himself, and told Erwin he had a plan. 

 

"Mr. Rivaille," he greeted him confidently, walking into the room, seeing Levi sitting there alone at the table, shades covering his eyes. 

 

Levi stood to greet him, shook his hand firmly, coldly. "Thank you for coming," he said but looked at Erwin instead of Eren. 

 

All three of them took seats at the table, Eren in the middle. Even from behind his dark sunglasses he could feel Levi staring at him, barely blinking. 

 

"I'll be brief, Mr. Rivaille," he said as he pulled out his notes from his briefcase. "Erwin's updated me on what's been going on and he's told me he thinks it's affecting ticket sales. Is that correct?"

 

Levi scratched at the back of his head, started to laugh. "Really? That's why you called him in?" he questioned Erwin, blatantly ignoring Eren's question. 

 

"Yeah, Levi," he answered. "I know, I know…you don't think this is a big deal. But that girl, she's trying to ruin you."

 

Levi began to laugh again. "This is ridiculous. I have a million other things to worry about right now and you want me to focus on what the press is saying about me and Baylea? I don't care, don't you get it?" he looked at Eren, leaned into him. "I don't fucking care."

 

Levi stood up. "I'm sorry you were called all the way over here for this. But I don't think your services will be needed here anymore, Mr.Yeager," he told him, pulling off his sunglasses, cleaning them on his shirt. He looked at him and like always, everything inside Eren came apart. Levi made him feel smaller than small and all he wanted to do was slap him his beautiful face, then kiss him.

 

He opened his mouth to speak but Levi slipped on his glasses and left before he could say anything. Eren looked at Erwin, he shrugged.

 

"Told you he's been in a shitty mood. Tell you what, stick around for a bit and I'll get him to see the gravity of the situation –"

 

"With all due respect, Mr. Smith, if he doesn't want me here, I will leave," he said, putting his notes away, begging everything inside of him to stay together.

 

Erwin looked at him for a second, examined his face. "Forgive me if this is out of line," he started to say. Eren looked up at him quickly, held his breath. Had he figured it out?

 

"Yes?" he asked, feigning innocence, obliviousness. 

 

Erwin moved in closer to him. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Mr.Yeager, and I know you are nothing but a professional. But I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever laid eyes on and I would love to take you out some time…after hours."

 

Eren tried not to let the horror show on his face. He forced a smile.

 

"That's very sweet, Mr.Smith," he said standing up, straightening himself. "But I do not date my clients or people I work for."

 

"No?" Erwin questioned, with one thick eyebrow raised, looking up at him like he knew something else. Like he'd discovered something else.

 

Eren looked at him for a moment, shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I don't. Now if you'll excuse me I want to rest before I catch the next flight back home."

 

He started to walk, but Erwin held up his arm stopping him. "Just stay another day. I'll talk to Levi and get him to come around. You came all this way, you might as well," he said, standing up, fixing the cigar in his mouth. "Enjoy yourself. Go out, have some drinks," he said walking Eren to the door, his hand on Eren's waist. "And if you want…give me a call later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for barely updating today lmao i'm trash.......... and in this chapter the POV changes a lot so it will probably get a bit confusing. (i tried, but i probably failed)

Something about Erwin's words made Eren feel dirty, he tried to scrub them off in the shower. Hoped the hot water cascading over him would somehow snap him out of it, make him strong again. 

 

He was drying his hair when the phone rang, and he swore his heart stopped beating. He let it ring one, two, three times before he moved to answer it. 

 

"Hello?"

 

A breath, silence. 

 

"Hello?" he tried again.

 

"You're still here," Levi said, sounding relieved. 

 

He bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from crying, the sound of his voice felt like a knife in the chest, it stung. 

 

"Talk to me," Levi said after a moment, voice soft, light, the way he remembered. 

 

Eren swallowed hard, opened his mouth to speak. 

 

"I'm leaving in the morning," he finally gathered the strength to say. He heard him sigh heavily. "You don't need me here so I'm –"

 

"I do need you here," Levi corrected. "I need you here," he repeated.

 

Eren shook his head furiously, although he knew Levi couldn't see him. "You don't. I'll leave a plan of action here with Erwin, and if you approve he'll carry it out. He'll take care of it."

 

"Eren, I didn't mean to talk to you like that earlier –"

 

"But you did…"

 

"I did…because you left. You really left, just like that and expected that not to hurt me? I'm angry –"

 

"For what?" Eren shouted, louder than he'd meant to. "Why are you the one who's angry? I'm the one who should be  _livid._ I'm the one who has to walk around acting like I'm doing a job when I'm really fucking my boss who's dating a girl that  _I_  set him up with, who  _he's_  falling in love with, while I have to sit back and watch. Keep pretending like I'm doing a job…I can't even…I can't even call you when I want, I can't look at you, think about you….I'm the one, Levi. I'm the one who should be angry."

 

"….Eren –"

 

"No!" he shouted into the phone. "…have a nice life, Levi," he spat out then slammed down the phone, nearly shattering it in its plastic receiver. 

Eren unplugged the phone that night and tried to fall asleep, to forget him. But it was like Levi was stained on his skin. He could still feel his hands on him, feel him inside of him, he couldn't scrub it off. 

 

He'd managed to fall asleep for a while when he heard the door opening, shutting closed. Eren hopped up quick, gathered the sheets around him, asked who it was in the darkness of the room. But he knew who it was, Eren could smell him. That heavy, dark scent. He thought he was dreaming.

 

"How the hell did you get in my room?" Eren snapped, flicking on the lamp light, seeing him standing there, looking lost, caught, in a daze. 

 

Levi held out his hands, like he was surrendering something. "I just…I needed to come speak to you before you left me again," he whispered, like someone could be listening to their conversation. 

 

Eren sat up, moved back. "You need to go."

 

"No, you need to listen to me," he said moving to Eren, sitting on the foot of the bed, making Eren's body tense. Levi looked up at him, then looked away. Eren could see the hurt in his eyes, it was the same look he wore in his own. 

 

"I'm not good at this…" Levi finally started to say. The macho, sexual Levi gone, an innocent, frightened Levi in his place. Eren wanted to reach out to him, hold him, tell him it was okay, but he couldn't. He wouldn't. 

 

Levi turned to face him, moved closer to him again. 

 

"Don't come any closer," Eren warned. "Or I'll call security."

 

Levi raised an eyebrow, sat back. "Eren, I know you're angry..this whole situation..it's fucked, I know it," he said, looking down at the space between them, like the words were written there. "But…you don't understand. I never meant for it – for this to happen. I never wanted it to…but I can't control it. I get near you and I lose everything. I forget who I am and what I'm doing, not even thinking about who I'm hurting," he said, scooting closer to Eren. He was like a magnet and Levi couldn't help but be near him. "I  _never_ want to hurt you. I don't want to make you angry or upset," he placed a hand carefully on Eren's thigh, moved it upwards. "I only want to make you feel good –"

 

Eren slapped his hand away, causing him to yank it back.

 

"What is wrong with you?"

 

"I'm not an object, Levi!" he shouted.

 

"I know that, what are you saying?"

 

"Don't come in here and touch me and think that makes everything better. It's never going to be better, Levi, don't you get it?"

 

He opened his mouth to answer, but Eren wouldn't let him speak. 

 

"Me and you, we don't work. You're who you are, I'm who I am, and yeah, we can pretend while we're fucking that that's not the case, but it is. It is and it always will be. Now stop making it hurt by coming in here and trying to fix it. We can't fix it, it was never meant to be..."

 

Eren's words hit like bricks, burned like fire. The truth always seemed to hurt Levi, reality was always too real. He stood up abruptly, wanted to walk away, storm out, be angry. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

 

"Look," he began to say, turned to face Eren. "I'll leave. I'll go and you'll go and we never have to speak to each other again, if that's what you want. But…tell me something first?" he asked, looking at Eren trying not to crumble. Eren stared back at him seething, waited. 

 

"If…If I wasn't who I was, and you weren't…who you were – what am I doing?" Levi suddenly snapped like he'd broken out of a trance, turning around, placing his hands atop his head then letting them rub down his face, letting out a held breath. "I can't – what am I even doing in here? I'm sorry…" he started to say, cheeks burning red like he'd said too much, showed too much of the real him and now he needed to run. "I'm going to go…" he said and and rushed to the door, hand on the knob. 

 

"Wait!" Eren shouted, causing him to jump, his heart to skip. Levi turned back to him. "Wait," he said softer, standing up, moving to him. "Ask me," Eren said, voice shaky with emotion, tears in his eyes, moving closer to Levi. "Ask me…please."

 

"I don't –"

 

" _Please,_ " Eren repeated, taking his hands in his own, looking into Levi's eyes, now realizing that he had the power all along. Eren was the one in control this entire time, all he had to do was take it. "Ask me."

 

Levi looked away shyly, looked down to the floor. "Could you be?" he asked in a soft voice, looked up at Eren. "Could you be in love with me?" 

 

Knowing Eren's words didn't matter, knowing Levi's only made things worse, Eren slowly placed his lips against Levi's, pulled him closer and kissed Levi until he couldn't kiss him anymore, until he was sure the taste of Levi was imprinted on him, the taste of Eren on Levi. Because words hurt and words were hard to say, but this was so much easier.

 

Eren pulled Levi to the bed never once letting him go, never letting their mouths part, feeling, touching him all over. Feeling powerful, Eren undressed him, took his time, moved slow until Levi was stripped, naked, trembling in anticipation. Levi undressed him quickly, yanking his shirt over his head, like he needed him now, waiting even another second was much too long. 

 

Eren commanded every inch of his body, lips, hands, tongue all over. Eren took him into his mouth and Levi called out his name like he meant something, because Eren did. When he entered Eren that night, it wasn't like all of the other times they'd been together. He moved with purpose, with precision, with power. He watched Eren's face as they rushed to the edge, although he didn't want it to end, he never wanted to end. If he could live like this, every day for the rest of his life, he'd be okay with that. Feeling himself on the edge, feeling that tingling on the end, he began to think irrationally. About making Eren his husband (housewife), adopting kids, dying next to him. When they're about to reach their climax and Levi squeezes his eyes shut, Eren scrapes his nails into his skin, screams his name. 

 

"Stay, stay," Levi whispered in Eren's ear, out of breath, still on the release. "Promise me you won't leave in the morning," he said. "Stay with me, I need you here."

 

In Eren's own moment of irrationality he agreed, promised Levi he would. Promised him that he needed him just as much as Levi held him close to him, lips pressed against his neck, breathing into his hair. And for the first time in months, they both fell asleep without a fight. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just love me a housewaifu eren ahhhhhhhhhhhh  
> thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i actually said i would update everyday....... ;_; i'm sorry, i've been procrastinating a lot lately.  
> this chapter will be short, and it's in levi's pov !!!!!!

He was shaken out of his sleep the next morning by a knock, banging at the door. He jolted awake quickly, rubbing sleep out his eyes, not remembering the last time he slept so well, slept for so long. Then he remembered last night…last night. 

 

He looked next to him and Eren wasn't there. His heart dropped to his stomach. Another round of banging at the door. He hopped up quickly, no time to think, found his underwear, slipped them on, wrapped the sheets around him, tip-toed to the door, squinted through the peephole.

 

"Erwin," he said with some relief as he opened the door.

 

"What the hell are you doing in here?" Erwin asked gruffly, pulling the cigar out of his mouth, gesturing at him with it. "And where the hell are your clothes?"

 

Levi put up his hand to stop him from asking more questions. "Long story, okay…" he said, not even wanting to talk about it, not before he could even process it. He moved back into the room, looking for his clothes, his pride.

 

Erwin huffed. "Damn right, you had people looking for you all over this God damn hotel and here you are shacked up with some little slut –"

 

Levi stopped him. "Don't," he warned. "Don't start talking about something you know nothing about."

 

Erwin eyed him closely. "You were sleeping with Eren the whole time, weren't you?"

 

Levi ignored him, slipped on his pants, shirt. 

 

Erwin sighed deeply. "Well, Eren's gone now, Levi. He took off this morning, barely said a word to anybody, but I caught him ducking out in a taxi. So it couldn't have been that deep, huh? Guess Eren was just a good fuck, right?" Erwin snickered to himself. "Can't blame you for that," he said as he walked to the door. "You've got a sound check in half an hour, I suggest you get a move on it."

 

Erwin let the door slam shut behind him. Levi stood there in disgust with Erwin, disbelief with Eren. Not believing any of this was real, it couldn't be. Not when Eren was just there, a few hours ago, whispering to him, promising him that he wouldn't leave. This had to be a dream, a nightmare, and he needed someone to shake him awake already. 

 

Time made things real, when he made it to sound check and Eren still wasn't there. Made it to the next city, nowhere in sight. Eren hadn't popped out of some closet and surprised him, told him it was all a joke. Eren left him, again, and this time hurt more than the first time, because Eren promised him he wouldn't. He promised he wouldn't go, and Levi believed him.  

 

It was then that Levi realized that words didn't matter, people lied. People lied to him all the time. How was he supposed to trust people, believe in people, when they hurt him like this? It'd happen one too many times, and he promised himself, it would definitely be the last. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! sorry if i don't respond to comments... i read them but i don't know what to say ........


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since this chapter is short, i decided to update! (are ya'll proud of me? lol) okay keep in mind that after the first paragraph there will be a timeskip!!!!!!!!!!!! Eren is now 25 and he has Titan hair (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Eren ran. He ran from Levi as quickly as he could because he couldn't do it anymore. He thought he could because he wanted to. The desire to stay, be with Levi, fall in love, was stronger than anything else in him. But he couldn't. Reality set in and it scared him like hell, so he slipped out of Levi's arms, out of the bed, and out of his life – before he hurt Levi anymore than he already did. Eren knew it would kill Levi, make him hate him, but that's what he needed. Eren needed Levi to hate him so that he could hate him and they could move on with their lives. And one day, Levi would wake up and realize Eren was right. They couldn't be together, as right as it felt, it was just wrong. 

 

Weeks passed, months flew by, yet not a single day came that Levi didn't cross his mind. In the short amount of time they'd spent together, he'd somehow worked his way into every part of him, he still smelt Levi on his clothes, his skin. 

 

Parts of him thought Levi would call one day. Find his number somehow, show up at his doorstep, try to make things better. But that wasn't reality. Reality was that he left Levi, lied to him, made him think he would stay. And now, the only thing Eren had left was the memory. And the sweet smell of him lingering on his skin. 

 

A year later and he'd tried to forget him. Moved on with his life, though parts of him still follow Levi's life in the papers. What city's he's in, what projects he's working on, who he's dating. He tried not to think about it too much, instead focused on work. And when that wasn't enough of a distraction he tried dating, hoping good sex alone would rid him of thoughts of Levi once and for all. But even lying in someone else's arms didn't feel the same, it made Eren feel dirty, like he wasn't supposed to be there, like he was cheating on his own heart. 

 

The latest guy he'd been seeing at least made him feel special. His name was Jean, at first they were mortal enemies but it slowly turned into more. Jean took him out on nice dates at fancy restaurants, treated him like royalty (occasionally), and sometimes they would have arguments but it always lead to lots and lots of angry sex. Jean was the type of guy Eren could get married to. Nice/Dork, handsome, boring. They could go on and raise a nice, boring family and live a nice, boring life. That he could handle.

 

Jean proposed to him on Valentine's Day. Typical, expected but he accepted. Eren accepted because every single year that went by, every year that he got older, that fear in his–that fear of being alone, living and dying alone– grew stronger and stronger. Life with him would be safe, easy, simple. And that Eren could handle. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Jeanere so much, like it's like having a mortal enemy who you occasionally make out with in secret ahhhhhhhh so hot ;_;  
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mostly in Eren's pov...

He saw him again unexpectedly. At an award show, a glamourous gig at the Academy Awards and he was working. He had been speaking to one of the sleazeball journalists from ABC when he saw him and felt his world immediately stop spinning. Everything inside of him went to mush.

 

He was standing merely inches away from him, he could smell him. Decked out in a gorgeous white blazer, black pants, his hair framing his face, his beautiful face. He would have thought he was dreaming if it wasn't for his scent, a mixture of spice and something painfully sweet. 

 

He caught himself staring, gawking and quickly pulled himself back together, his first instinct was telling him to run away. But he couldn't because that'd be strange. Instead he took two steps to the side in hopes he wouldn't see him. But he felt like Levi had already caught him, even though he wasn't looking his way, with the way he was licking his lips, biting the inside of his cheek like something was troubling him. 

 

He kept moving backwards, forgetting about the conversation he was just having and kept walking away until he was inside and away from trouble.

 

But trouble followed him, inside the whispering had already started. 

 

"Did you hear?" Armin, one of his closest friends, asked him as they settled into their seats. 

 

Eren fiddled through his pockets, pulled out his phone, tried not to appear frazzled. 

 

"Hmm, what?"

 

"Your old boss Mr.Levi RIvaille is here!" he said with wide eyes, a huge smile plastered on his face.

 

He huffed and looked over at him in mock disgust. "Could you be a little less fanatical, please?"

 

Armin laughed a girlish giggle then leaned into him closely. "Promise me you'll introduce me to him when you go say hey and all that, okay?"

 

Eren shook his head, dug through his pockets again. "I'm not bothering him tonight. The poor guy already has every eye in the room on him. And I know he hates that –"

 

"Oh, look at you," Armin said and pinched him on the side. "I bet you know him more than you let on, huh?" he said with a wink. Eren quickly looked the other direction, like he'd heard someone call his name, hoping the guilt hadn't already shown on his face. 

 

And like the universe had it planned, Levi walked in at that exact moment – the stunning, young blonde popstar Historia in his arm. She was just as decked out as he was, clamored in diamonds and a pure, virginal white. Everybody nearly hopped out of their seat at the sight, like two wild chimpanzees had just entered the room. They walked down the aisle, Levi waved shyly as Historia giggled behind a gloved hand, and everyone in the auditorium watched their every move until they took their seats in the front row– except for Eren. 

 

He didn't want to look, knowing that if he did he might get the urge to vomit…or cry hysterically. He wasn't sure where his feelings stood with Levi, if they were ever even real. Whatever happened with them happened a long time ago and they clearly had both moved on.

 

Armin grabbed his arm and squeezed it tightly, nearly jumping up and down in her seat. 

 

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" he repeated over and over. "Can you believe it?! Levi fucking Rivaille and fucking Historia! I wonder who set that up — genius!"

 

Eren leaned back in his seat, crossed his legs trying to feign disinterest. "No," he said smugly. "No, I can't believe it."

 

After the ceremony – during most of which Eren paid no attention, he knew he would wound up being dragged to the after party, though he knew it wasn't a good idea. Levi could show up, or worse, Levi could not show up and then he'd find himself at the bar, later with his head in the toilet trying to forget everything. 

 

But Levi came – surprisingly not with his date Historia. He sat a table at a distance from his, his eyes nervously skimming the room like he was looking for someone. Or better yet, looking  _out_ for someone. After twenty minutes or so,Eren gathered his things to go, found Armin sandwiched between two guys at the open bar and told him he was headed out.

 

"No! You can't leave yet! We're just getting started!" Armin yelled out at him in a drunken slur. He threw his arm over his shoulder. "You haven't even introduced me to your little friend yet."

 

Eren sighed heavily. "You're drunk, I'm tired, let's go."

 

He groaned and pulled away from him. "Only if you introduce me. Please, please, please!!!"

 

Eren rolled his eyes so hard he swore he'd given himself double vision. "I don't want to bother him," he mumbled.

 

"But look at him!" he stammered. "He's sitting all alone over there! Let's go talk to him," he said and began to walk Levi'sway.

 

Eren grabbed a hold of his arm. "Armin, let's go before you make a fool of yourself," he warned. 

 

He pulled his arm away. "What's your deal? I just want to say hello — Levi! Levi!" he started yelling across the room, waving his arms enthusiastically to get his attention.

 

Without even looking Eren could feel Levi's eyes on them, on him, which made his cheeks burned red.

 

Armin took off running over to his table like a fourteen year old girl. If this wasn't grounds for never bringing Armin anywhere, then Eren didn't know what was. 

 

He watched his friend go up to him, Levi stood up to greet him with a polite smile, a gentle hug. He knew it was the right thing to do to go over and say hello, pretend like nothing ever happened, because nothing ever really did happen, did it? He couldn't remember, but his legs just wouldn't let him. 

 

Armin eventually turned back to him and waved for him to come over. Levi stood there awkwardly, transfixed with the lights on the ceiling all of the sudden. 

 

Just go, he told himself. Go and get it over with, you never have to see him again. After taking a gulp of the closest alcohol he could find, he found his mobility again.

 

"EREN! Look who I found!" Armin yelled out to him. "Doesn't he look great?"

 

In that moment, Eren never felt such strong disdain for a person in her life. Armin wasn't going to hear the end of it the next morning.

 

"Hello, Mr.Rivaille," he was able to squeak out, his voice all of the sudden gone.  He reached out a hand to shake Levi's, trying to keep up this charade of professionalism. 

 

Levi looked at him for a moment, a hint of confusion on his face. But he smirked, a tight smirk, took Eren's hand in his and shook it firmly, almost aggressively. 

 

"Nice to see you, Mr. Yeager, I hope all is well with you," he said as he let his fingers graze the inside of Eren's palm, like he used to do. 

 

He cleared his throat thinking the moment had lasted too long and Armin would easily catch on. 

 

"Same to you," he said robotically. "This evening has been lovely, hasn't it?"

 

Levi smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He nodded his head, looked away as he felt the awkwardness mounting between them. 

 

And like a godsend, a bodyguard seemingly appeared from nowhere and whispered into Levi's ear causing him to have to leave, bid the both of them a good night. 

 

Eren felt the weight of the world leave his shoulders until Armin bent over and let up every drink he had that night all over his shoes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	16. please read!!!!!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRRRRRRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to continue this story but i dont know if anyone is interested in reading it? its been so long ;_______; but i have free time now but idk ..... i will post a chapter up in a few hours. thank you for the comments i got while i was absent!!!!!

honestly please tell me if i should continue this.... thank you


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the unannounced hiatus...... i am back, and ready to continue! i think this chapter is long, well for me it is lmao but tell me what yall think!!!

Armin apologized profusely with his head in a toilet bowl in the bathroom stall as Eren tried to clean the gunk off of his shoes. 

 

 "You totally overdid it tonight, Armin. I'll be right back."

 

He tiptoed into the hall, cold granite on his bare feet. Definitely not the way he thought this glamorous night would end. 

 

All of the sudden another one of those giant bodyguards appeared from nowhere, this time to speak to him.

 

"Mr. Yeager, There's a car waiting for you out back."

 

Eren looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean? I didn't come in a car." But he knew that didn't matter, he knew what this meant and he knew who this man worked for. A tight clench formed in the pit of his stomach. Still, he played dumb and tried to walk around him. "You must have me confused for someone else."

 

"Mr.Yeager…" the man stopped Eren, holding out his hand. "He's not playing games," he said, eyeing him seriously.

 

"Not playing games?" he questioned then giggled at his audacity. "Please tell Mr.Rivaille that I do not work for him nor do I take orders from him. He does not get to beckon me. Is that clear?"

 

"I'm only doing my job sir. If I don't come back with you I probably won't have a job anymore."

 

"Excuse me, but are you fucking kidding me? Who does he think he is?" he asked, truly baffled. Now wondering if this really was all just a dream, a terrible nightmare.

 

The man shrugged, shook his head. "It must be important."

 

Eren eyed him for a second, thought. He knew this was a trap. He knew Levi would try to get him alone, look at him with those eyes and touch him until everything was made right again. But Levi couldn't get him this time. Time had passed and things were different. Time made him different, stronger. He should know that. 

 

"Where is he?"

 

The man led him to the back alleyway where an all-black limo waited, windows tinted. Eren shivered, suddenly remembering he didn't have on any shoes. But he didn't think of it for long as the door opened yet no one appeared. 

 

He looked up at the guard and he looked over at him, gestured for her to get in. So he did — carefully. Now thinking this could really be a set up, a kidnapping, did this guy even work for Levi? he couldn't remember. 

 

"You came," Levi's voice came out through the darkness, settling his thoughts somewhat. The door to the car slammed behind him. 

 

"I didn't have much of a choice, did I?" he sneered back, feeling upset, angry.

 

"You did," he chimed back with just as much bite. 

 

He felt the car start to move. "Where the hell are we going? My friend is still back there."

 

"I can't believe you…" Levi started to say, ignoring his question.

 

"Stop the car, Levi. I'm not kidding —"

 

"After all this time, that's all you have to say to me?"

 

"Are you serious?" he scoffed. "You're being insane right now —"

 

"Stop the car," he called up to the driver, the limo immediately pulling to a stop. 

 

Eren looked up at him, trying to see Levi's face through the darkness, trying to read his motive. But all he could see was his damned silver eyes, looking lost, frightened, and so profoundly sad. 

 

"What do you want, Levi?" he asked in a barely audible whisper, a softness now in his tone.

 

Levi leaned back in his seat, the movement causing the jewels on his jacket to sparkle in delight. 

 

"I don't know…I just wanted to talk to you. Away from there…I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sorry," he said in a choppily, like he was having a difficult time putting words together. 

 

Levi looked up at him like he wanted him to say something, respond. But Eren didn't know what to say, how to say it. 

 

Levi sighed heavily, scooted into him causing her body to stiffen, his breath to constrict. 

 

"…I don't feel like we ever got to say goodbye properly…" he started to say, reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. Eren jumped at his touch, slid further away from him, looking at him, eyes wide.

 

"I don't - I can't…I'm getting married, Levi," he stammered out, all of the sudden feeling small again. Weak, vulnerable, and so stupid. So stupid to ever caught up in something with a man like him. 

 

Levi's eyes widened and his brows shot up at his admission, a look of shock reading clearly on his face. Then a look he least expected - a smile. 

 

His smile turned to a chuckle and grew into a full-on laugh, he held his stomach in amusement. 

 

"What?" he asked, annoyed that he wasn't in on the joke. "What's so damn funny?"

 

Levi looked up at him, shook his head and tried to silence his laughter. "I'm sorry that wasn't the right reaction, was it?"

 

Now Eren shook his head, still confused. 

 

"Congratulations is what I meant to say," he started to say. "Though, I don't know what that has to do with me…"

 

"…Huh?"

 

Levi smiled again, giggled a little. "I don't know what you thought I called you here for, but I wanted to talk to you about coming back to work for me. I'm sorry if you thought –"

 

Eren shook his head, sat up straight, tried not to look deterred. "Work for you?"

 

"Yes," Levi nodded. "Look…whatever happened in the past happened in the past and should stay there, right?"

 

Eren nodded slowly.

 

"I think you're brilliant and on a strictly professional level I want you to come back to me."

 

He thought about his words for a second, trying to find some hidden meaning. Trying to make sure he was hearing him correctly, that there was no ulterior motive. 

 

He scratched an imaginary itch on the back of his neck, unsure of how to respond. "Umm, well —"

 

"You don't have to give me an answer now," Levi chimed in, slipping a card out of his jacket pocket and handing it to him.

 

"You have business cards?" he asked, amused. 

 

Levi smiled. "They're not mine. But there's an office number on there where you can reach me. Think about it and then let me know as soon as you make a decision. Like I said, I think you're brilliant and I need someone like you on my team…I haven't been able to find someone nearly as competent."

 

Eren looked at the card, looked up at him, now sure he had to be dreaming. Work for Levi again? Sure, working for him was some of the best work he'd ever done professionally. But being around him again, going back to that place where he felt so out of control, bending and breaking to his every want and desire…that he didn't know if he could handle. 

 

"I'll…I will let you know," he said softly, taken aback from all that had just happened. 

 

He nodded. "Well…enjoy the rest of your night, Mr.Yeager."

 

He smiled weakly. "You, too."

 

The door all of the sudden opened and he turned to step out, the guard closing the door behind him.

 

The window rolled down, Levi's head popping out. "I need an answer by next Monday. Is that enough time?" he asked.

 

He turned to face him. "Um, yeah. I guess so," he said, cursing herself inwardly for sounding so unsure and insecure. 

 

"Good, look forward to it."

* * *

 

* * *

The next few days felt like a blur to Eren. No matter what he was doing his mind went back to that night, those eyes. On a surface level, it seemed Levi wanted to keep things professional this time around, but how much could he trust that? Even if he did have an engagement ring on his finger, he didn't feel like that was enough to keep Levi from trying. Or at least it wouldn't have been before.

 

But now maybe things were different with him, too. As sad as he seemed, maybe he was really happy with his life right now. Maybe he was in love with someone and truly didn't feel anything for him anymore. Maybe he was giving himself too much credit; Levi probably never cared for him that much at all.

 

His fiancee, Jean, was completely baffled when he confessed to him that he used to work for Levi RIvaille. He told him one night as they laid in bed together, already feeling guilty for not telling him the whole story.

 

"Wait, what?" Jean sat up quickly, looking down at him. " _The_  Levi Rivaille? You used to work for him?"

 

He nodded apathetically. "Yup…right before I met you actually…"

 

The stupid grin on his face was enough to make Eren want to punch him. "How come you never told me that? Now  _that's_ impressive!"

 

"You mean to tell me working for Levi Rivaille is cooler than me working with the president?"

 

"Hell yeah!" he shouted enthusiastically. "It's Levi Rivaille, come on!" 

 

Eren shook his head, rolled over. He never understood people's reaction to the enigma of Levi Rivaille. Sure, he had out-of-this-world talent, loads of cash, and an incredible life story, but he was human. He was a person, and that's how he always saw him. Extraordinary, but a person nonetheless. 

 

Monday rolled around and Eren still hadn't made a real decision. At his office, work went on, though his mind was nowhere near being focused. Then he realized that he didn't even know what he would be doing for Levi if he came back to work for him. Levi was no longer on tour and as far as he knew, Levi had no plans for any new music anytime soon. Levi seemed to be on sort of a break; he hadn't even really been in the press that much lately — except for that whole Historia thing — which was surprising. What did he need her for?

 

On his lunch break he pulled out the card Levi had given him, eyed it over a couple of times.  _Just call,_ he told himself. Get more information about the position then make a decision.

 

He dialed the number and held his breath, waiting for an answer.

 

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.

 

Eren's voice caught in his throat. "Umm, hi. I'm calling to speak with Mr.Rivaille."

 

"Who's speaking?"

 

"Ere- I mean, Mr.Yeager."

 

He heard the phone click and thought he'd been hung up on when he heard the phone ringing in his ear; he was being transferred.

 

The phone rang several times before going to a messaging system. He thought to hang up but figured he'd at least leave a number for Levi to reach him at.

 

"Hi, Lev-Mr.Rivaille. This is Mr.Yeager from Yeager & Associates. I was calling regarding the —"

 

"Hello," a breathless Levi answered cutting him off mid-sentence. 

 

"H-Hi," he answered back. "Mr.Rivaille?"

 

"Levi, yes. I'm glad you called," he said, still sounding like he was trying to catch his breath. He thought of what Levi could have been doing — dancing, running to the phone, fuck — never mind.

 

"Yes, I was just calling regarding the position we had talked about last time we spoke."

 

Levi snickered at his formality. "Yes, of course. Have you made your decision?"

 

"Well, I thought it over and realized that I wasn't exactly sure of what your expectations were. Would this be a full-time role, or would I only come in when you needed me? And what would my title be? And since you're not really in the spotlight right now, I'm not sure what you would need from me…"

 

He heard him sniffle on the other side. He'd probably been dancing, he decided. "Well, I figured you'd be my publicist, which is a full-time job, believe me. You wouldn't believe half of the crap that I have to deal with on a daily basis — even when I am, like you claimed, out of the spotlight."

 

"Oh, I just assumed — I mean, I said that because you don't have any new music out or any new projects coming out, do you?"

 

Levi sighed loudly, sounding exasperated. "I'm working on some stuff…"

 

"Oh."

 

"But I have…other things that need tending…" his voice trailed off like he lost his train of thought. "Tell you what, come to my home. I can have a car pick you up if you don't want to make the drive. I feel like this could be better discussed in person."

 

That clench returned to Eren's stomach. In person? He still felt like he had control when he spoke with him over the phone, but in person? 

 

"I…if you feel like that would be best…"

 

"Yes, I think so. What day is good for you? I'll have a car come for you."

 

He flipped through the calendar on his desk. "I can do Wednesday, after 3."

 

He heard Levi mumbling something incoherently on the other end. "What was that?"

 

"Wednesday at 3 sounds good," he said after a moment.

 

"Try 3:30. I have a meeting at 2…just in case it runs over."

 

"Great," he said, a cheeriness in his voice Eren hadn't heard in a long time. "I'll see you then."

* * *

Wednesday came quicker than Eren had hoped, quicker than what he'd prepared for. Before he knew it, a car had come for him and he was off, on his way to Levi's mansion.

 

He'd read in the papers what his home was like. A circus is what it sounded like to him. Amusement park rides, animals roaming all over the place — he didn't understand how or why a person would want to live somewhere like that. But it was Levi, and although human, he had his differences. 

 

An hour into the ride, his stomach began to churn again, feeling this nervous tension riddle his entire body. He didn't understand it. Why couldn't he shake this? He'd had one night stands before, slept with men and women he never spoke to again, fucked friends with no strings attached. Sex was a primal thing to him. Eren didn't always have time for relationships, but he was always game for good sex.

 

So what made this situation feel so different? So, Levi told him he thought he loved him. But Levi didn't even know him. Levi loved  _fucking_ him, that's what he should've said. Then he could draw the line and figure out in his head where he stood with him —

 

STOP. Stop, he told himself. Stop even thinking in that direction. He was here to do business. For real this time. He'd been clear about that — even with the longing in Levi's eyes. 

 

He stared out the window, and straighten up once he saw Levi's mansion.

 

Levi didn't greet him at the gate, instead a butler, servant? He wasn't sure what to call the man. He was led inside to the front house where he found himself in complete awe. It was like being in a museum. Exquisite sculptures and paintings filled nearly every inch of the rooms he passed, complete sensory overload.

 

The man guided him down the hall as he took in everything around him, nearly tripping over his own feet because he wasn't paying attention. He suddenly got this eery feeling noting how quiet it was in the house. All of this space, all of this grandiosity, and silence? It didn't seem fitting. 

 

The man took him to the end of the hall and gestured to the room beside him. 

 

"Mr.Rivaille is waiting for you inside," he said plainly, then stepped away. 

 

He watched him go then looked up at the door. It was massive and looked heavy, probably made of the finest wood money could buy. Was he supposed to knock?

 

He wasn't sure what to do, but before he could think to do anything the door began to open. 

 

"Mr.Yeager, lovely to see you," Levi greeted him, stepping aside to let him in.

 

He smiled, hoping the anxiousness didn't read on his face. "Hello, Mr.Rivaille. Thanks for inviting me over. Your home is just…lovely."

 

He closed the door behind them, making a huge "thud" sound and causing him to jump. 

 

Levi giggled. "Still just as tense, huh?" he teased as he walked around him then walked over to his desk. 

 

Eren soon realized this was Levi's library, or at least it looked like one. Book shelves lined the room from floor to ceiling and stacks of books were left all over the floor, some on his desk. Levi obviously liked to read…a lot. 

 

"Please, have a seat," Levi called over to him as he stood over his desk, gathering his papers, or looking for something. He couldn't tell; Levi was terribly disorganized. 

 

Eren complied and took a seat in the chair in front of his desk. 

 

"How was the drive?" Levi asked, still distracted with his papers.

 

"Fine…long but fine," he looked out of the window behind him catching sight of what looked like a water fountain in the distance. "I can't believe you live here," he said quietly.

 

Levi looked up at him, and smirked. "I do…at least, when I'm able to."

 

He turned his attention back to him. "Well, like I said — lovely home you have."

 

Levi looked at him again, this time really looking at him. "Thank you."

 

There was a moment of silence that made him start to feel awkward, but he didn't know what else to say. Besides, Levi seemed so distracted.

 

"I'm sorry," Levi said, finally settling into his seat. "I've been in meetings all day, just got off a phone conference."

 

"Geez, I didn't realize you were still so busy. I thought this was your off time."

 

 "Off time? I don't have off time, really. I've been in the studio for almost a year now. In fact, that's what I called you here for."

 

Eren sat up attentively in his seat. "Yes?"

 

Levi paused for a second, brushing his hair behind his ear. 

 

"The big people over at the label want me to release this album before the end of the year," he said lackadaisically. 

 

"But you just came off of tour —"

 

Levi looked at him quizzically. "I know. They're insatiable," he sighed. "But, I have been working on some stuff and I think I do want to go through with it. In fact, I'm positive I do. But that means a whole new plan for everything that goes along with the album. I need a new look, a new theme…I have to start thinking about promotion, interviews…the list goes on."

 

Eren nodded, jotting down notes on the notepad he'd slipped into his suit pocket.

 

"I don't know if you know or not…" he said and then paused for a second.

 

"Know what?"

 

"I fired Erwin."

 

Eren's eyes widened in shock. "Fired? Really?"

 

Levi nodded, a haunted look in his eyes. Then he shook his head quickly, like he was trying to snap out of it. "Yes, well he's gone and I haven't really had a manager in place since then. So…obviously I'm in dire need of help in several areas."

 

He nodded, trying to take in all of what he was saying. 

 

"I have several people in place helping me to get ready for this new album, but I want you to be here, helping them come up with a way to market this thing the right way. But, I don't want to play games with this one. No fake girlfriends, no planted stories — that was Frank's way of doing things. I just…I want it to be about the music and about me, as an artist. Can you do that?"

 

He opened his mouth to speak, but he cut him off.

 

"I need people around me that I can trust. Who can do their job and who have my best interest in mind. You told me day one you were the best man for the job and I still believe you are. So please, before you say anything, just know that I need you here."

 

The desperate look in his eyes made it impossible for Eren to say anything but yes. He didn't know what was going in Levi's life at the moment, but when Levi had that said he needed him, he believed him. Believed it more than anything he'd been told in his life.

 

He took a huge gulp, a persistent lump sitting in his throat. 

 

"I…I think I can help you with that," he finally opened his mouth to say. 

 

Levi nodded and leaned back in his chair, like the hard part was over. "I'm so happy to hear you say that."

 

He smiled faintly. "Despite your stubbornness, I think I actually enjoyed working for you, Mr.Rivaille."

 

Levi raised a brow, a devious look on his face. "Me? Stubborn?" he asked, smirking at him.

 

He snickered a little. "Well…"

 

Levi shrugged. "It's probably true," he leaned forward in his chair again. "So, you'll come back to me?"

 

Eren didn't know why Levi had to phrase his question like that. It made it sound too personal, but he nodded anyway.

 

"I'll come back."

 

Levi smiled brightly, broadly and Eren's heart stopped a beat. He had forgotten the things that dammed smile could do to him. He looked away quickly.

 

"Are you okay?" Levi asked, noting the odd change in his demeanor.

 

He nodded, feeling sick suddenly. "I'm fine. I just…remembered I promised to be home by dinner."

 

A dark look covered Levi's face, like he'd said something that had hurt him deeply.

 

"Oh…of course," he said then stood to his feet. "I can have the car come back around for you."

 

Eren stood with him. "Thank you."

 

Levi made a call for the car then walked with him to the door, following behind him at a close distance.

 

"So, I'll have Jolie call you and set up some dates to sit down and start brainstorming ideas?" he asked, though it really wasn't a question.

 

Eren turned to him, nodded. "That sounds good."

 

Levi held out his hand, as if to shake his. Eren looked down at it, back up at him. 

 

"It was a pleasure seeing you again, Mr.Yeager. You look just as stunning as always," Levi said, keeping his hand out for his.

 

He finally complied, let him take his hand in his and shook it firmly. Completely professional, except Levi didn't let go. He held onto his hand, staring him square in the eye. 

 

"Pleasure seeing you as well…" Eren replied, eyes lowered to the ground, staring at his shoes instead. Levi being that close to him instantly brought back memories of being with him, being underneath him.

 

Eren cleared his throat, took a step back causing Levi to finally release his hand.  He saw the hint of a smile on Levi's lips, like he was doing this to him on purpose. Levi moved into him, backing him into the door.

 

"Do you think the car…" he started to say in a whisper, shutting his eyes tightly.

 

"What about the car?" Levi whispered back as he felt his hand on his side, holding him in place. 

 

"What are you doing?" Eren asked in a weak voice that didn't even sound like his anymore.

 

"Trying to remember…" Levi started to say but stopped himself, removed his hand, backed away. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't…"

 

Eren opened his eyes to see Levi looking away, blushed, embarrassed. He struggled to catch his breath, to come back down to earth. He had barley touched him yet his entire body was on fire, he swore. 

 

"The car is probably out front by now," Levi finally said, breaking the silence. 

 

Eren nodded, turned to open the door. "I can see my way out —" 

 

"Nonsense," he objected. "Jackson will show you the way out," he gestured to the man standing in the hallway. Eren jumped at the sight of him. 

 

"This way, Mr.Yeager," Jackson said as he followed behind him, still trying to figure out what the hell just happened. He could still feel Levi's eyes on him as he walked down the hall until he was out of sight. 

 

By the time he got to the car, his mind was racing and he could feel his heart in his throat. He hadn't felt anything like that in so long, and he just didn't understand it. Anytime he got close to him, he lost it, completely and utterly. 

 

Was this all just a sophisticated way of Levi getting back at him? Did he even mean any of what he had just said? And what in the world had he just agreed to do? 

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i personally think this chapter was boring............. it was needed however, things will fall into action soon.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> quick update!!!!! im trying to redeem myself and since im on break it's easier, lol.

It wasn't until nearly two weeks later that Eren had to face him again. He'd gotten right away to work with his assistant Jolie, a couple of his lawyers, and other immediate personnel that would be handling the new album. 

 

It was so different working for him now than before. When he was around the last time, Erwin was running such a tight ship that everyone knew what to do and when to do it. But without him, it was like everyone was struggling to hold it all together. 

 

But Eren was good at working in the midst of chaos. He knew how to remain cool, calm and collected and how to think things through thoroughly so that they could reach the best solution possible. 

 

After a few brainstorming sessions, Eren along with one of his associates and Levi's acting manager had to make a presentation for Levi so that they could propose their marketing strategy. It was odd though, since the album wasn't even finished yet, but Levi was adamant about getting a head start on this. 

 

So they set up a meeting at one of his private offices at his mansion, making sure they kept everything as quiet as possible. Levi didn't want anyone knowing about the album just yet. 

 

He'd arrived early to set up since he was the one who was supposed to be in charge. Jackson greeted him at the door and let him in, guiding him to the conference room near the back of the house where they'd be having the meeting. He thanked him and declined his offer for a drink. He was in the zone and didn't need any type of distractions. 

 

He was setting up the projection screen when he heard someone behind her, clearing their throat to get his attention.

 

"Mr.Rivaille!" he greeted him enthusiastically, turning to see him standing at the door entrance.

 

Levi smiled politely, hands shoved in his pockets. "You're early," he noted.

 

Eren smiled back. "Yes, I just wanted to make sure that everything was set up and ready to go."

 

Levi looked down at the watch on his wrist. "We've got twenty minutes," he said, then looked up at Eren. Those damn silver eyes brimming with danger. Eren wanted to punch him in his face, but composed himself.

 

Eren looked down at his own watch. "Oh, I didn't realize it was so early. I didn't mean to rush you or anything, the others should be here soon," he said nervously, separating stacks of papers for each person that would be at the meeting. 

 

He saw Levi make a move towards him from the corner of his eye. 

 

"Are you confident with what you're about to present?" he asked, catching him off guard.

 

Eren looked up at him curiously. He was the best at this, why wouldn't he be confident? "Yes. I think we came up with a pretty good strategy to start with. At least for the build up to the album."

 

Levi nodded. "Good, I'm excited to hear it."

 

Eren smiled, silently hoping Levi would leave with that. The two of them alone in a room together only spelt trouble. But of course he didn't leave, he stood there, staring at him. 

 

Feeling tense he turned away from him, turning his attention back to the projector, bending over to set it up. He felt him move and could feel the heat of his body close to him. He slowly stood upright, now feeling his breath on the back of his neck. He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

 

"You drive me insane, you know that," Levi growled low in his ear, his hand grabbing Eren's side. He inhaled a quick breath at Levi's grip. "I hope you know this isn't over."

 

Just then, Jolie and two of Levi's lawyers came walking in, addressing him excitedly. Levi let go of him quickly, nearly pushing him away, as he turned to greet them. Eren took a minute to compose himself, to pull himself together before he even turned to face them, knowing his face had to be reddened from the previous moment. 

 

Eren pulled himself out of it and snapped back into professional mode, greeting his partners and setting up everything else for the meeting. Levi took a seat at the head and kept his eyes on him, unabashedly. 

 

He stared daggers back at him, growing upset with the thoughts running through his head. As soon as this meeting was over he was going to give Levi a piece of his  mind, plain and simple. If he thought he could just have him come back to him and submit to his pure lust for him, he was sadly mistaken.

 

The meeting lasted about an hour and overall went well. Aside from the multiple times Eren shut Levi down when he objected to something he said. The others would shoot him looks anytime he stood up to him, but he didn't care. Levi was a spoiled brat, so used to getting what he wanted when he wanted. And Eren would not be allowing that, period. 

 

Afterwards Levi left before he could get to him. He didn't seem too upset, but he definitely wasn't happy either. Eren cursed himself for allowing his personal feelings toward him to bleed into his work, yet again. But that was the issue. Eren couldn't separate the two because Levi wouldn't allow him to. He was still wrapped up in the past even though he said he wasn't. Eren needed to set him straight if he was going to continue to work for him in this capacity. 

 

He let everyone leave before he decided to look for Levi. He needed to talk to him now, while he still had enough fire in his belly to say something. 

* * *

It wasn't a good idea.

 

Eren ended up getting lost, finding himself in a room that looked like those arcades you saw at the mall. Video games everywhere, pool table in the middle, a popcorn stand in the corner. He still couldn't believe this was Levi's house. 

 

He nearly hopped out of his skin when he saw Levi sitting at one of the racing games, eyes focused seriously on the virtual road in front of him. He bit down on his lip and grunted when he lost control of the car and it spun out of control. 

 

"Shit," he murmured.

 

He cleared his throat, trying to get his attention, but he didn't even flinch. Just hit reset on the game.

 

"Levi," he called out to him and he jumped out of his seat. 

 

"Shit, you scared me," he said, hand on his chest. He stood up and tried to compose himself. "So I'm Levi now?"

 

He tried to ignore how cute he looked in that moment and instead thought about how pissed he was just moments before. 

 

"I don't know — am I working for you right now or you still trying to fuck me?"

 

Levi shrunk back like he'd said the craziest thing he'd ever heard. "Woah, calm down Eren."

 

"Listen to me, Levi. I don't know what you think this is, or why you're playing games with my head, but I can  _not_ work like this," he demanded. "Either you respect me and let me work or you leave me the hell alone."

 

"Watch the way you speak to me," Levi bit back at him. "If anybody gets to be angry right now, it's me. You just tried to embarrass me."

 

Eren's eyes widened. "Embarrass you? You threw me off the second you touched me then you expected me not to say or do anything?! You can't just do things like that, Levi!"

 

Levi made a move towards him, but he put up a hand to stop him. "Don't you dare…" he growled.

 

Levi was amazed by the anger on Eren's eyes. He looked quite attractive, if anyone had asked him. However, he still moved to Eren anyway, grabbing his waist. "Or what?" He pulled Eren into him and was surprised when he was smacked hard, right across the face. The imprint of Eren's hand glowing red hot against his skin. 

 

Eren covered his mouth, shocked with his own actions, afraid of how Levi would react. Levi's mouth fell agape as he turned to look at Eren, a wild look in his eyes. Before he could do anything, Levi yanked him towards him by his wrists and planted his lips on him, hard. 

 

Eren struggled in Levi's arms, wanting so hard, so hard to fight it. But the way Levi kissed him, so longingly, desperately, like he needed it to survive, made him melt into him. He kissed him back and let his hands roam through his hair, that he missed so much more than he'd let himself admit. Levi held him tight against his body, he could feel his heart thumping out of his chest. 

 

Levi didn't come up for air, didn't let Eren come up for air, afraid that stopping it would stop everything. He didn't want it to end, but he didn't want it to go further either. He just wanted to kiss him, touch him, feel Eren so close to him.

 

"Levi," he murmured against his lips. "Levi…"

 

But Levi didn't stop, just kissed him harder, wanting him to stop talking and just let them have this. 

 

Finally he put his hands on Levi's shoulders, pushed him away, snapping Eren out of his trance. He panted heavily, his breath warm against his face. His eyes were dazed and shining so brightly.  All it did was make Levi want to kiss him again until they were both dizzy and starving for air. 

 

"You can't…we can't keep doing this," Eren mumbled, his hands on his chest pushing him but not hard enough to make him move. "I'm getting…I'm getting married, this is bad. This is terrible," he said then slipped out of Levi's arms but he grabbed a hold of his wrist.

 

 "Don't slap me again. I just — you don't understand how bad I want you," he pulled Eren to him. "It hurts inside how bad I need to be with you," he whispered in his ear. 

 

"You just want to fuck me…"

 

"I do," he admitted. "I wish I could say I cared about you getting married but I don't," he lifted Eren's chin with his hand. "I want every piece of you —"

 

Eren eyed him unbelievably. "Haven't you ever loved someone before?" he asked, suddenly feeling sad for him. Levi wanted so badly to connect with someone, but he hadn't the slightest clue how to do it. He thought sex was the answer when it was the furthest thing from it. 

 

Levi backed away from him at the question, a bewildered look on his face. "What does that have to do with this?"

 

Eren removed Levi's hand from his waist, then held it in his. "Have you?" he asked again.

 

Levi looked at him for a moment, then looked away, sighed. "I don't know why you're asking me that," he said and pulled his hand away. Eren could see him retreating back into himself. 

 

Eren knew he should be angry with Levi for doing this to him. For putting him in a  position were he would even think about cheating on his fiancee. But he couldn't muster it. Something inside of him felt like it was deeper, and all he felt was like he wanted to help. He remembered his father telling him this would he his downfall, he was too selfless. 

 

"I'm in love with my fiancee, Levi. And when you're in love with someone you don't do things to hurt them. I'm sorry…"

 

"You love him?" Levi asked like he was surprised to hear it. 

 

He nodded, then sighed. "I don't want to have to stop working for you, Levi. But you make it so damn hard."

 

Levi looked up at him, his eyes dull and so painfully lonely. Eren wished he could erase the sadness in them, without having to use his body. 

 

"I don't want to make any of this hard…" Levi said in a soft, gentle voice. He drew his hands over his face, raked them down in frustration. "I don't know what else to say…"

 

Eren looked down in embarrassment, the heat of the moment catching up to him. The sexual energy between the two of them was palpable, no doubt. It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. 

 

"Look, let's just…pretend like this didn't happen. I really do enjoy working for you, if you just let me do my job…"

 

Levi looked at him, folded his arms across his stomach, nodded. "Fine," he nodded again and brought his hand up to his face, rubbing the place where Eren had hit him. "We can do that."

 

His mouth said one thing but that fiery look in his eyes told Eren everything but. He was playing with fire for sure, he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like how in most situations eren is seen as the brat and levi is the cool suave guy, so i changed that up a bit. i like to believe levi could be a brat as well and he's not a hard shell like everyone says. actually a very famous celebrity inspired some of levi's characteristics in this story.... can you guess who it is?  
> \--- thanks for reading!


	19. important!!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i know i just came back and started updating again, but it seems i may have to stop again. i am currently having some serious family problems. to the point where my own possesions are being taken away by force... im actually really emotionally unstable at the moment.... im sorry, i deeply apologize to my readers.

also, please do not leave this story. i will try my hardest to come back in 2 days. if it's not much to ask please wait for me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im back. idk what my schedule for this story will be.... thank you for being patient with me. & thank you for the sweet comments... im not 100% okay yet, but still.

Eren couldn't stop himself when Levi asked two weeks later to accompany him on a flight to New York for business. He swore to him it was strictly about work and that Jolie and Bill, his head of security, would be in attendance. Eren couldn't help but let the "yes" leave his lips, even though the pang in his stomach warned against it.

 

The night before the trip, he made love to his fiance Jean like it was the last time he was going to see him. Because something unsettled in his heart, made him feel like this would be the last time it ever felt like this. When he came, he almost called out Levi's name but instead dug his teeth into his back, drawing blood. It scared him that he could be that wrapped up in his head that he'd think about him even in the most intimate moment with his lover. 

 

"Damn, you're gonna miss me aren't you?" Jean breathed out in his ear as he collapsed on top of him. 

 

He didn't respond, he couldn't. Instead he buried his face in the crook of his neck, hoping he wouldn't forget this, wouldn't forget him, when he got on that plane. 

 

Not surprisingly, Levi's private jet was more lavish than anything he'd seen before. And he'd flown on an Air Force One, so that was saying something.  With only the four of them, plus two extra bodyguards and a pilot and co-pilot, it seemed like a lot of space. He worried for a moment that there wouldn't be enough weight on the plane to keep it in the sky. 

 

Those worries were replaced with worries of Levi when he finally arrived on the plane. He was the last to get there, along with Bill, shades covering his eyes and a parka coat over his shoulders, even though it was the middle of spring. He greeted every one with only a fickle wave of his hand, then took off to the back of the plane where Eren assumed his private quarters were. He figured he was tired or maybe he was upset, but he took a slight sigh of relief realizing that he wouldn't have to see him during the flight.

 

He fastened his seatbelt and snuggled into his seat, deciding he'd try to catch up on the sleep he missed the night before. He had been so anxious that he wasn't really able to. 

 

After being asleep for what felt like only five minutes, he jolted awake, turbulence causing the plane to shake underneath him. He wiped the slob that had started to seep out of his mouth and moved uncomfortably in his seat, and heard the sounds of _their_ giggling. It almost sounded flirtatious to him, his stomach turned with the thought. Jolie was a pretty girl, so he wouldn't be surprised if Levi was sleeping with her, too. He had to be releasing all of that pent up sexual energy somehow. 

 

He tried to move his thoughts from there, instead turning his attention to one of the magazines he'd brought with him for entertainment. Flipping through the pages he could suddenly feel Levi's eyes on him, saw him stand from his seat from the corner of her eye.

 

He looked up thinking he wanted his attention, locking eyes with his for a second before Levi bowed his head and turned to walk away. 

 

* * *

 

 

He didn't see him again until they had gotten off the plane, Levi slipping into one car with Bill, the rest of them slipping into another. He hadn't paid him the slightest mind the entire trip so far, and he was thankful for it. 

 

But at the hotel, it's a different story. Levi had given everyone the rest of the night off, sending Jolie off to make a series of phone calls, Bill to the hotel bar. Eren figured he'd finally get that sleep he needed and decided to head up to his room, drug himself if he had to. 

 

The elevator doors were closing and he was sighing when Levi put his hand out to stop it from shutting, stepping inside with him. Eren stood up straight, scooted into the corner, trying to keep as much distance as possible. 

 

"Going to bed so soon?" Levi questioned though he didn't look his way, instead hitting the button for his floor. 

 

He nodded. "Yeah, I didn't get much sleep on the flight…"

 

"No?" he questioned, now turning to him, his eyes still behind those shades. 

 

A "ding" signified the arrival of her floor, the doors opening. But he put up his hand, stopped him from leaving. He looked up at him trying to figure out what was going on in his head. Clear as day: danger. 

 

"Levi…" he called his name as the doors shut behind him, backed him into the corner. "You have to stop…" he whispered, closing his eyes, his forehead now pressed against his, his hands holding onto the railing behind him, trapping him in.

 

"Do I?" he questioned.

 

Another "ding" indicated that they'd made it to his floor, but he didn't move.

 

"I don't want anything you don't want..." he said softly, running a finger lightly down his arm. 

 

"You said you'd stop…"

 

"Do you want me to?"

 

Eren paused, opened his eyes, his gaze heavy on him even through the darkness of the lenses. 

 

"I want…I want to be close…to you," he started to say. "But not this way…"

 

It was the truest thing Eren could think to say in that moment. Not that he was getting married, not that he was in love with someone else, but that he wanted to be close. To take away that empty look in his eyes. To know him beyond a surface level.

 

Levi pulled away, took a step back, like his words had sobered him. And without another word he stepped out of the elevator and walked away. 

 

With the closing of the door he swore he could've collapsed to the floor. His electric energy gone, his body left weak, dizzy in its wake. 

 

That night, he lied in bed wide awake, his mind still reeling from earlier events. He didn't bother to look at the clock, knowing it was late, knowing he'd still be up. The longer he stayed awake, the more he tortured himself with thoughts of him. Feeling himself fall apart, piece by piece, little by little, succumbing.

 

He fought with himself for over an hour before he completely caved. Disowned himself for what he was about to do. Tip-toeing down the hall like a thief, feeling like a child. He was on edge and he wanted him, needed Levi. Getting onto the elevator feeling like a fool, a complete and utterly asinine fool. But he needed that way he looked at him, the way he kissed him, the way he touched him. It didn't compare to anything else. 

 

Feeling drunk on his own lust, he stepped off the elevator, headed down the hall, tried to remember which room he was staying in. He'd picked up the hotel keys for everyone earlier that day and tried to recall his room number: suite 17A.

 

* * *

 

 

Placing an ear against the door he knocked gently, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear if awake, not loud enough to wake him if he was asleep. No response so he knocked again, now hoping he'd woke him if he was asleep. 

 

Thinking he heard laughter, he put his ear to the door again. 

 

"Who is it?" a female voice called out and Eren's stomach dropped to the floor. 

 

He recognized that voice, it was Jolie's. And he was most certainly positive that Jolie's room was next to his. 

 

Feeling a rush of anger, embarrassment, disgust he turned and took off down the hall, to the stairwell, not even wanting to wait for the elevator. Running down five flights and back to his room, locking himself inside. Feeling like he'd just been hit by a truck, smacked back down to reality. 

 

Now he really knew that he was no different, that Levi wanted nothing more from him than his body — if that wasn't clear before. Levi had said it, but he didn't believe it, thinking the way he looked at him meant more than sex. But he'd been doped up on something, on him, and he couldn't see straight, couldn't think clearly. 

 

The next day he could barely look either them in the face, feeling uncontrollable bitterness, envy. They'd attended several meetings together with Levi's label, the three of them plus Bill, and he made sure he was on point. The only way he knew how to deal with his emotions was to throw himself into his work, full force. 

 

Putting Levi out of his mind, he was able to present his ideas clearly, coherently and with complete ease, earning praise from several label execs. Even when Levi eye'd him across the table or brush against him in halls, he steadfastly ignored it, now completely turned off by his actions. 

 

It's back at the hotel that Levi approaches him, catches him by the wrist when he's trying to get on the elevator, pulls him into a hall nearby. However, he snatches himself away, and eyes him seriously.

 

"Don't you  _ever_ put your hands on me like that  _ever_ again," he growled out at him. 

 

Taken aback, Levi backs up a step. "What's your deal?"

 

"I don't appreciate the way you've been behaving towards me this entire trip," he bit out, a newfound fearlessness in her voice. "Touch me again and I'll sue the fuck out of you."

 

Eyes wide, truly in awe, Levi takes another step back, lowers his voice. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. If I'm doing something wrong just tell me —"

 

Now Eren was in awe. "Just tell you? I've been telling you damn near every time we get together! But you turn around and do it again! You know that's called sexual harassment —"

 

"Lower your voice," Levi warned him, moving in again.

 

"Stay away from me," Eren snarled. 

 

"You say one thing but you want another," Levi started to say. "You're not fooling me…"

 

"You don't know what you're talking about…"

 

Levi smiled, a cocky smile, and Eren wanted to punch him in the face. "You want to be close…" he whispered, moving into him, forcing him to back into the wall, forehead again against his. He closed his eyes. "I want to be close…"

 

Eren closed his eyes, gulped hard, trying to find the strength to stay composed, stay angry. 

 

"You only want to fuck —"

 

"Shut up," Levi cut him off. "I've been watching you all day and you won't even look my way. You're driving me up the wall here, Eren," he nuzzled his nose into his cheek, breathing him in. 

 

"I don't know what you want from me —"

 

Levi cut him off again, this time with a kiss. Forcing his lips onto his until he was sighing, breathing into him. But Eren doesn't melt so easily this time, his hands against his chest, earnestly trying to push him away.

 

"Please," he pleads against Levi's lips. "Don't do this…"

 

Levi stops, pulls away, hides his face in Eren's neck. "This is the only way I know how…to be close," he mumbles against his skin. "I'm sorry," he says, like he's ashamed at his admission, then pulls away, walking away and leaving Eren alone again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these two are idiots smh


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i feel like the beginning is very ooc, well for levi... just imagine a papa/childish levi i suppose

Eren thought about his words weeks later, back at home. Remembering that look in his eyes, that quiver in his voice. 

 

He didn't remember him being like this the first time around. A year ago he remembered Levi being much happier, or at least never this intense. They weren't "close" but he could at least talk to him, smile, laugh. And then that last night they were together, he remembered how open he'd been with her. So open and vulnerable that it pained him. Like he had never been that way with a person before in his life. 

 

He remembered falling asleep with him cuddled into his neck, his breath warm against his skin. Levi had held him so tightly, so desperately and he just left. Left him because it was all too much and none of it made any sense. How could Levi love him, how could he want to be with him this bad, when he didn't even know him? 

 

But now, Levi wasn't the same. He didn't look at him the same, speak to him the same, kiss him the same. He was guarded and Eren wasn't so sure Levi would ever let him back in — or if he even wanted him to. 

 

He felt so God damn guilty and so ashamed being with Jean, lying in his arms, thinking of another man. He tried so hard to push thoughts of Levi aside, be faithful and true to the man who could commit to him. Who could love him, want more from him than sex. 

 

But now the little things that Jean did that used to bother him a little made him want to scream at him, yell at him until he was blue in the face. They fought often and constant, over anything, everything. And he felt himself growing distant with every passing day. 

 

It was a Tuesday when Levi called again. Asking him for advice on what to wear to an upcoming award show, like everything was back to normal with them — if there was ever a normal. He felt odd and out of place to give such advice, especially since he wasn't his stylist. But he knew that he wasn't calling for that reason alone...

 

An hour passed and they were still on the phone, except he had long stopped talking about clothes and was instead telling him a story about the time he met Prince at a party Liza Minnelli a few years back. He talked about these people like they were old pals, calling them by their first names, like he knew who he was talking about without saying so. 

 

Eren didn't even think about how normal their conversation felt until he heard him laughing. Laughing so hard he could tell by just hearing him that tears were probably falling from his eyes. It made him laugh, and made his heart warm, and made his stomach drop to his knees.

 

Three days later he's going to Levi's house, feeling slightly less tense this time because he knew he wouldn't have to be alone with him. Levi had invited throngs of underprivileged schoolchildren over to his home for an entire day. He had invited him telling him he needed to "loosen up" and have some fun, and after an intense argument with Jean the night before, he definitely needed to get away, at the very least. 

 

It was a completely different place this time around. No longer eery with silence, music and the sounds of children laughing, playing filled the air. Walking the property he suddenly began to feel giddy with excitement, kids zipping past him to the rides, wanting to run with them. The adult in him wouldn't allow it though, so instead he grabbed an ice cream cone, found a bench, looked on. Watching all of the children made him start thinking about the future, probably adopting kids with Jean, and it made him sick to his stomach. 

 

Levi's  voice behind him made him nearly leap to his feet. He turned quickly to be greeted with that face, smiling brightly down on him. He put his hand up to him to shade his eyes, like it was too much. 

 

"Everything okay?" Levi asked, chipper as ever, hands behind his back like he was hiding something.

 

Eren smiled, nodded, stood up to feel on his level. "I mean this is…something," he said, gesturing to all of the chaos going on behind him. 

 

He bobbed up and down on his toes, a devilish smirk on his face. 

 

"What's that?" she asked, now realizing he was holding something behind his back. 

 

He shook his head. "Oh, nothing —"

 

And before he could scream, run, or duck for cover, cold water was blasting his in the face, drenching him, Levi's deep-low laughter in her ear. Anger was his first reaction but the sound of his laugh melted him once again. By the time he could regained his vision, he was off, running with a group of kids trailing behind him. 

 

Spotting an abandoned water gun in the grass, he took off for it, snatching it up to fill it with water at the fountain. He could see Levi in the distance, blasting his next victim, kids still nipping at his heels. He smiled to himself noting how happy he was, he'd never seen him this way. His face was flushed with laughter and he swore he never looked more beautiful. 

 

A pang in his stomach, but he ignored it as he started running his direction, water gun in hand, ready for war. 

* * *

Later, Levi invited him inside. With most of his guests gone, that eery silence started to return, slowly bringing Eren down from his high. 

 

His clothes were soaked and his hair's a mess, but he didn't care, he couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so much, played so hard. 

 

Levi told him he had dry clothes in the house, that he could come up if he wanted. His lips said yes before he could think to say no, and Levi was smirking, that kind of smirk like he knew something he didn't. 

 

 

They got to a room that was locked and Levi had to pull out a key to open it, he heard him sigh softly before he opened the door. Eren followed him inside and for the first time he looked around: a piano in the corner, a small fire in a fireplace. 

 

He was so busy looking around that he didn't see Levi watching him now, studying him like he always does. After a moment he feels it though, and he feels self-conscious, brings his arms up to fold over his chest.

 

"How about those dry clothes?" he said in a small voice, trying to break the tension in the room. 

 

Levi stared at him for a second, "Oh, right. Be right back," he said and then goes into a closet large enough to be another bedroom. 

 

Eren goes back to his reverie, realizing that this must be Levi's bedroom. Clothing strewn everywhere, pieces of paper with notes all over the floor, all over the bed. 

 

Levi comes back out holding a sweater of his, an "L" stitched on the chest and holds it out to him. He smiles and takes it from him. 

 

"Thanks…"

 

"I have pants, too if you want. Though I don't know if they'd fit…" Levi said, eyes skimming down his body. 

 

He felt himself blushing. "This is- this is fine," he mumbled. "I just want to lay my shirt out to dry a little."

 

He nodded, made a move to sit at the foot of his bed. "The bathroom's just there," he said, gesturing to the door behind him. 

 

"Right," he replied and turned quickly to go inside. 

 

When he comes back out Levi's moved to the window, his finger tracing circles on the glass, in his own little world. 

 

He cleared his throat to get his attention and he dropped his hand, turned to him, smiled weakly. 

 

"You know, the next time you do something like this maybe we should invite a few photographers. This would be great for your image," Eren started talking, hoping to just make conversation. 

 

Levi sighed, shook his head. "That's not why I do this," he said in a low voice. "Besides, it's not like the press wants to report  _good_ news about Levi Rivaille," he said matter-of-factly, turning back to look out of the window. 

 

"Well…it wouldn't hurt," he replied, question in his voice, but Levi didn't respond, kept his back to him. Now he sighed. "I know that isn't why you do this, I just thought — never mind…"

 

He felt clumsy, stupid, standing there in his clothes, his bedroom, and Levi wouldn't even look at him. 

 

"I hope I…" Levi stopped himself, turned to him. "I should apologize for the way I've been acting," he started to say. "I'm embarrassed honestly…I just get so…carried away…"

 

Eren nodded, looking off to the side. 

 

"I hope you don't think I'm always like that…"

 

He shook her head, looked up at him. "I don't think anything…"

 

Levi scratched the back of his head, smirked. "I swear I'm not…but it's taking everything inside of me to not kiss you right now…"

 

His breath caught in her throat. "Levi —"

 

"I'm not going to," he cut him off. "Unless you want me to…"

 

"We shouldn't," he closed his eyes and shook his head, hoping it'd help make his case, but inside he could feel everything slowly coming apart. 

 

Eren could feel him closer, but he wouldn't open his eyes, knowing it'd be over then. 

 

"You say that like being with me is a crime, like you haven't been with me before…" Levi whispered and he could smell his breath, sweet like candy. 

 

He nodded, eyes still shut. "Because it is…it is a crime. I'm with someone," his voice shaky. 

 

"But you're here, with me…no one has to know…" his breath against his skin, the tip of his finger gliding down his arm. 

 

A chill shot up his spine and he knew he wasn't breathing anymore, he couldn't. He opened his eyes and he was face to face with him, his eyes devouring him, making something inside of him come to life and die, come to life and die. 

 

"What do you want?" Levi asked. "I have to hear you say it…"

 

He let out the breath he'd been holding against his face, "Kiss me, kiss me already —"

 

Levi doesn't move quickly, but instead slow, like he wants to make sure this is what Eren wants, give him enough space to say stop. But he doesn't, so he doesn't, and he kisses him softly on the lips, breathing him in, feeling that tingling in his spine he feels whenever he touches him. 

 

His hands slowly find their way to his waist and he holds him there, pulling his body into his as his fingers wrap around his throat, deepening the kiss. He's taking his time and it's driving him crazy, wanting more of him, wanting this quick, fast and dirty so that it'd be over and he could forget it. But Levi seemed bent on making him wait, making him feel all of it, so he'd always remember it. 

 

Levi started moving to the bed, guiding him but never stopping kissing him, his hands now roaming his body, fingers in the waistband of his jeans. Eren was moaning when his fingers touched his bare flesh, the touch he had been craving since he'd been back in his presence. He was hot for Levi and he's slowly losing patience as he tugs at his shirt, tries to pull it off of him, no time to be bothered with the buttons. 

 

But Levi stops him, grabs his wrists and pushes him onto the bed, he wants to be in control. He moves to lie on top of him and he pulls him close to himself, his lips and tongue all over any piece of skin he can get to. Grabbing a fistful of his hair, Levi snaps Eren's head back, rakes his teeth down his neck then places gentle kisses against his skin. He keeps kissing down and down, pulling down the sweater that he'd lent Eren, leaving him half exposed. So beautiful, so smooth, pulsing for him and Levi feels insatiable, savage. 

 

Eren's hands are in his hair as he pulls off his jeans, trousers, and kisses him _there_ softly. Eren's body flinches and he groans, wanting more, needing more, but Levi just kisses him, occasionally swiping his tongue against Eren's length, teasing. 

 

"What do you want?" Levi asks yet again, staring up at him, his lips wet and ready. 

 

Eren throws his arms above his body, turns his face into his arm, pushes his hips slightly forward. 

 

"Say it," Levi demands before he makes another move.

 

"Touch me," he says, his voice muffled by his arm. 

 

"Pardon?"

 

Eren moves his hand and looks at him seriously, dangerously. " _Touch. Me._ "

 

So Levi does, he's sucking onto the pulsing dick when Eren began to move his hips out and then back, gasping out his name for more. Eren was too deep into the passion he no longer cared. He knew it was wrong, so wrong, but damn it if it didn't feel so good. 

 

When Levi finally enters him, Eren's on the verge of tears. He's never felt so desperate for something in his life and Levi feels so good, so good, he never wants it to stop. 

 

Levi moves slow, with precision and purpose, as he looks down at Eren, then plants kisses along his neck, moaning with each thrust. 

 

Levi's telling him that he's beautiful and how much he missed him and how good he feels and Eren just holds him tighter. He knows it's all lies, yet he believes him. Their breath ragged, Levi's hips moving faster and faster, until he's lost control and he's filled him with cum, he can feel his insides warm, and he feels disgusting. He starts crying, holding Levi to him, trembling, shaking, because it feels so good. And Levi just kisses him and kisses him, until he stops crying and his body is still. 

* * *

Eren woke up not even realizing he'd fallen asleep and Levi's still next to him, a hand in his hair, gently rubbing the hair at his neck. He figured Levi was still awake though he couldn't tell for sure with his head on his chest and he didn't want to move, not wanting the night to come to an end, all of this come to an end.

 

Eren could be angry, get up and yell at him for pressuring him so much. Scream at him for making him like this, putting his future with Jean in jeopardy. He could. 

 

But there was no point. It happened and he wanted it to happen, no matter what lie he tried to tell himself. 

 

He rubbed the skin on Levi's belly lightly, drawing tiny circles over and over. He knew he was awake now, his hand moving in his hair more deliberately. 

 

"You okay?" Levi asked after a moment, his voice soft and gentle and he couldn't help but smile a little.

 

"Yeah…you?"

 

He didn't respond but he felt his lips press against the top of his head and he cuddled closer to him. 

 

"I'm glad you came today," Levi started to say. "I just — I swear every time I see you…I never mean for this to happen…"

 

Eren moved to look up at him, his eyes piercing even in the darkness of the room. "But it happens…every time…"

 

Levi placed a hand on his cheek. "I don't know what you do to me, Eren. I just want to be inside of you, I swear…"

 

He felt himself blushing. How could Levi be so coy and crude at the same time?

 

"I hope you're not upset…" he finally said. 

 

He shook his head, placed a kiss on his chest. "This happened a long time ago…"

 

He laid his head back on his chest, wanting to stay there just a moment longer, knowing he needed to leave soon. 

 

"It's getting late," Levi said, beating him to it, forcing him back to reality. He lifted himself up, looked down at him. "I don't want you to get into trouble…"

 

He raised a brow like it was too late for that. He was already in trouble, he'd laid down and snuggled up with trouble a long time ago. 

 

"Yeah, I should go," he said and began to scoot away, but Levi grabbed his wrist, pulled him all the way back to him until he was kissing him, sighing into him. 

 

"When can I see you again?" he asked breathlessly against his lips. He closed his eyes, shook his head, breathing against him. 

 

This needed to be a one-night thing. They'd had their fix and they needed to leave it alone, go back to their separate lives, move on, forget that it ever happened. He wasn't a cheater and he deserved better, so this had to stop, it had to. 

 

But he kissed him again and he pulled his body into him and they were lost in each other all over again. And he knew that this wasn't going to be the last time; It was only the beginning. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL i cannot write a lemon to save my life...................... im so sorry


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a short chapter, sorry guys....

It was a dangerous kind of game they played. Speaking to each other strictly on business terms during the day, letting their bodies do the talking at night.

 

He thought he'd feel guilty, unable to look at his fiancee in the eye knowing that he'd betrayed his trust, broken their vows before they'd even made them. But he strangely didn't. Instead he felt frustrated, frustrated with Jean because if he paid enough attention, he would know. He wouldn't have to say anything because Jean would be able to see it in the way he looked at him, the way he touched him, the way he moved, breathed.

 

But he didn't, so he didn't say anything because really he didn't know what the hell he was doing anymore. He just knew that being with Levi didn't feel wrong, didn't make him feel guilty; no, he made him feel alive.

 

They'd been in bed for over an hour, his lips on his stomach, his flesh still on fire from their lovemaking. He started humming a melody against his skin and he couldn't help but giggle at the way it tickled. And he'd looked up at him with those eyes, smirking and he wanted to tell him in that moment how beautiful he was. How much he liked being there with him. How he wished it could always be like this.

 

But he didn't, he couldn't. Because this was all this was and all it could ever be. No more, no less. 

 

Levi doesn't talk to him much after they finish, not like he had started to do before. Sometimes he'll ask when he'll see him again as he's headed out the door, desperately, longing. Other times it's like nothing ever happened and he gets dressed, tells him he'll see him around. 

 

He tries not to think about it too much, what Levi means to him, what he means to Levi. Because it doesn't really matter. He'd made him no promises and he hadn't asked for any, so none of this really mattered. 

 

A week had passed without them being together, as he had other meetings outside of Levi's world that he had to tend to and he had been in the studio recording for his next album. 

 

He made sure to keep himself busy, his mind off of him, stop himself from wondering when he'd call, ask for him to come over. Jean had started pressuring him about picking a wedding date and location and all of it started making things more real. He was really going through with this, marrying this man who loved him so much while he slept with his boss on the regular. He really didn't know who he was anymore.

 

Levi had called him in the middle of the day while he was at his office. He sounded tired and agitated but he told him he wanted to see him, needed to see him. He tried to tell him he was busy but he was adamant, told him it was important and that he'd already sent a car for him. He wanted to be angry, that he was able to call the shots and control when they could see each other, when they couldn't; he was so in control in every other part of his life. But none of that mattered because he wanted to see him, too. 

 

So he told him okay, he'd wait and he hung up without saying goodbye. 

* * *

Eren had been waiting impatiently for almost half an hour when his phone was ringing again, jolting him out of his chair. 

 

"Hello?" he asked trying to hide the irritation in his voice.

 

"Baby, come outside," the gruff voice on the other side responded. 

 

He sighed, rolled his eyes. "Jean, I told you I'm working on some stuff tonight…"

 

"I know, I know. But you can come out to grab a bite to eat, can't you?"

 

His stomach twisted; lying wasn't always his strong suit. "…Babe, I really need to finish this, I don't have time —"

 

"Come on! We'll grab a burger or something around the corner. You know you've been working too hard lately…"

 

Then he felt it, that pang of guilt. At least he'd noticed he'd been "working" harder lately. 

 

He sighed, rubbed his hand over his face as he tried to think of a quick solution. He knew the car Levi had sent for him would be rolling up any minute. 

 

"Fine, a quick burger but then I have to come back to work," he finally complied.

 

"Good! I'll be downstairs waiting," Jean said and then hung up. 

 

When he got downstairs he noted the black BMW parked across the street, windows tinted, Levi's driver standing there. But he pretended not to see it, looked the other way, rushed over to Jean's car. He scooted in quickly hoping no one saw him. 

 

"Woah, slow down there," Jean called out to him as he swiftly fastened his seatbelt. "We've got time," he said, a bright smile on his face.

 

Jean was beautiful, honestly. And he felt bad that he was so oblivious, so unsuspecting of him. He smiled back weakly.

 

"You're right, we do," he said, calming down. Levi would just have to wait. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2nd part of this chapter is in Levi's pov!!!!!!! (kinda lol) Enjoy :)

When Jean dropped him back off at the office he didn't expect the BMW to still be waiting there, but it was. Eren kissed him goodbye and he told her he'd stay up for him. He told him he shouldn't. 

 

He stepped inside the office building long enough to watch him drive off before she made his way to the waiting car. The driver got out and opened his door immediately, he ducked his head shamefully. 

 

He gasped out loud when he slid inside and was met with that gaze, those eyes. Levi didn't say anything as he got in, just slid over as the car started moving, looked the other way.

 

"I didn't think you'd be in here," he started to say, almost apologetically. 

 

"So you thought you'd make me wait…" he said grimly. Eren could already hear the anger in his voice.

 

"I- he called, and I couldn't really say no. He said it would be quick, but we got there and — wait, why am I even explaining myself to you?" he asked exasperated with the entire situation. "You have no reason to be upset…"

 

Levi turned to him then, "Upset? Who said I was upset?"

 

"You didn't have to! You're practically sulking right now —"

 

"Eren, you're insane," he laughed, turning back to look out of the window.

 

"You know what — I don't want to go anywhere with you if this is how you're going to be. Pull the car over," he demanded, his hand on the door handle. 

 

"Wait, calm down, Eren," he said moving closer to him, but he put up his hand stopping him.

 

"No! I don't want to go anywhere with you —"

 

"I didn't even do anything —"

 

"You're so ridiculous," Eren bit out at him. "It's your way or no way, just like a child."

 

At that Levi moved away from him and he saw something change in his eyes again. That flicker of sadness, pain, like he'd just poured salt into an open wound. He knew what he'd said hurt him, but he didn't want to apologize because it was true. 

 

He took his hand off the handle, sat back. "…I don't know why you can't talk to me…" he said, his voice tired, weak, sad. 

 

Levi looked over at him, looked away, his eyes darting all over the place like he didn't know where to look to, who to turn to. 

 

"I know…I know what happened before," he started saying. "I know what we had and I remember how you were…" he stopped himself, feeling stupid for feeling so emotional over Levi when it was nothing, nothing real.

 

"I wish you could be like that again," he said, reaching out a hand to grab his and he could feel him flinch, like it hurt to touch. But he grabbed it anyway and gave it a squeeze. "I'm not asking for much, I just need you to know that I'm not here to hurt you…I know I did before when I left like that, but I hope you know that it was for the best…"

 

Levi didn't say anything, didn't even look his way and he felt like he was fighting a losing battle. There was no point. 

 

He looked out of the window on his side and automatically wished he could be on the other side, away from him. He wished he never started working for him in the first place. Wished he never laid eyes on him, never even knew he existed. Because he'd torpedoed his life without even knowing it, without even trying, and he could care less. 

 

Then he felt him squeezing his hand back, moving to him, his breath against his neck. 

 

"I don't wanna talk about the past anymore, okay?" he whispered, placing kisses along his neck. "I like being with you, you like being with me and that should be it, okay?"

 

He closed his eyes falling prey to his touch, his kiss, but shook his head. "No, that's not it. You have to talk to me, Levi…"

 

Levi's hands were now on him, under his shirt, reaching for his nipples and he fought the urge to moan. 

 

"Talk, talk, talk…I'm sick of talking. So sick of it," he mumbled against his skin, tongue flicking against his ear. 

 

"But Levi —"

 

Levi grabbed his face, turned it to his, looking him square in the eye. "Words hurt, words don't mean anything to me anymore, okay?"

 

And he could see the tears welling in Levi's eyes and he was taken aback, unsure of how to respond, so he kissed him because kissing worked, it always did. 

 

They kissed feverishly, angrily, fighting with their tongues. Hands all over, in each other's hair, pulling, tugging. He didn't want to think about the past no more than he wanted to talk about it, so they lived in the moment instead. Consequences would come for sure, but for now, this was all that mattered or meant anything to them. 

 

* * *

 

* * *

(Levi's POV)

He watched his face as he slept next to him, knowing he'd have to wake him soon. It was the most difficult and awkward part of the night, having to ask him to go when it was the last thing he wanted from him of all the things he wanted from him. 

 

He couldn't really explain what it felt like being with Eren. He just knew that when they were together and when he was inside of him, and Eren was holding onto him like he mattered, everything else went away. Nothing existed and nothing was ever created before. It was just the two of them and he loved feeling like that, he never wanted it to end.

 

But it did, it always did. And he'd come down from his high realizing that the world was still moving around them, time had not stood still. 

 

Eren wasn't his, and no matter how many times they made love he would never be his. It infuriate him if he thought about it too much, so he didn't. He told himself he would treat this differently this time around. He would use him the way he felt used before, so many times, by so many — including him. Try his best not to get attached or feel anything because that's how he got hurt, and it was bound to happen eventually. 

 

But looking at Eren then, in that moment, he didn't want to wake him. He wanted him to stay there, fall asleep next to him, hold him until the morning. Then wake up, mouth already on him, teasing him, tasting him, until he was trembling in his arms, whispering his name. Then he'd smile, kiss him, tell him that he wanted to do that to him every morning for the rest of his life, for as long as he lived.

 

But that wasn't his reality, and he promised he would be real with himself from now on. No fantasy or fiction, this was real life and Eren wasn't his. 

 

So he started to wake him, nudged him gently, whispered his name. And Eren groaned, turned over, rubbed the sleep out of his eye. He was still naked and Levi fought the urge to have him again; it was already near midnight.

 

"You should probably go…" he said in a low voice, stretching his arms above him. 

 

He turned over, looked at him. "Do I have to?" he whined jokingly.

 

He smiled, bent over to nuzzle his neck. "I think that's best," he whispered, placing a kiss on his collarbone, his hands in his hair at the feeling. 

 

"What if I don't want to…" Eren then said softly, innocently, looking up at him wide-eyed. 

 

He pulled away, sat up. "You know you should," he said shaking his head like he'd said something ridiculous, absurd. Eren couldn't stay here with him. 

 

He watched as Eren quickly sat up, moving from under the sheets in a huff, angry.  _  
_

He sensed his  attitude and wanted to reach out to him, stop him from leaving upset with him. Instead he got up, started getting dressed with him. 

 

Eren eyed him cautiously. "What are you doing?" he asked, pulling up his pants.

 

"Walking you out," he said matter-of-factly, buttoning his jeans. "It's midnight so I have to call for a driver —" 

 

"I'll get a cab," he cut him off. Bliss was over, bleak reality in its place. "You've done enough favors for me tonight…"

 

At that he stopped what he was doing, looked up at Eren, and smirked. He then moved past him quickly, tried to walk out but he grabbed him by the arm, pulled him to him. 

 

"It's late and there's no way in hell you're going to catch a cab out here," he growled low in his ear. "So stop being stubborn and let me call a driver."

 

He let him go and Eren fell away from him. "…fine," he bit out after a moment, regaining his composure. 

 

He bit his bottom lip, smiled like something was funny and walked across the room to the phone, started dialing a number. 

 

Eren could hardly see straight, he was so angry. And not even with Levi, but with himself. Here he was, falling, asking to stay the night with him when he knew he had Jean at home. It was one thing to have sex with another man, but to do this — he should've known he wasn't cut out for an affair. 

 

He was hardly paying attention when Levi had walked back over, told him a car would be around in a minute, started to walk him out. 

 

They'd made it outside and he was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't even realized Levi was talking to him, asking him a question. 

 

"What?" he asked, breaking out of his trance.

 

Levi smiled, chuckled. "I  _said,_ what are you angry for now?"

 

It was colder outside than he expected, he rubbed his arms for warmth. "It doesn't matter…" he said looking off, wishing the car would come already.

 

"I care if you're upset…or angry with something I did," he said in a soft voice, almost like he didn't want him to hear him. 

 

Eren looked up at him. His skin still flushed from earlier, his hair matted his forehead, an unexpected twinkle in his eye. He shook his head, looked down at the ground.

 

"It doesn't matter, Levi okay? I'm not angry with you…"

 

"You're upset 'cause I told you you had to leave, right?"

 

He looked at him, shook his head adamantly, and Levi smirked again like he'd won. 

 

"Don't look at me like that," he scolded, feeling vulnerable since Levi could see his emotions so clearly. 

 

Levi  smiled a wide smile, raised a brow. "Like what?"

 

And he shook his head and laughed, even though it hurt. Levi moved closer him and he let him, his forehead against his looking him in the eye.

 

"I don't want you to leave me upset," he whispered, hand on his cheek, rubbing the skin there. "You know I don't want you to leave me at all," he broke and said out loud though he'd been thinking it all along. Knowing that's what Eren wanted to hear, knowing that's what he wanted to say; it was the truth. 

 

And Eren smiled though he could tell he didn't want to. 

 

"…I know," he said after a moment. The car pulled up then, the driver stepping out and around to open his door. 

 

Levi moved away quickly, stuffed his hands into his pockets. 

 

"So…I'll see you soon?" he called out to him as he walked over to the car, scratching an imaginary itch at the back of his head. 

 

He turned to him, another weak smile. "We'll see, Mr. Rivaille," he said and then into the car he went.

 

Levi kicked himself internally as he watched the car leave, inwardly cursing that pang he felt in the pit of his stomach to have to see Eren go. This wasn't how it was supposed to go this time. He wasn't supposed to feel anything. And yet, there he was feeling like a fool because all he wanted was for Eren to come back. 

  
  


 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i am horrible..... i've had this chapter done since like forever but i was too lazy to upload it.................................. sorry ;_;

One day it had all become too much and Eren broke. His personal and professional life had blurred into this heaping pile of shit and he didn't know what he was doing, who he was becoming and if any of it was worth it. 

 

He took off from work, stayed at home and for once let himself feel those emotions. Let himself cry, sleep, eat then repeat the cycle. He hadn't felt like this since his teenage years and he'd laugh at himself if he didn't feel so bad. 

 

Jean walked in on him sulking on the couch, buried underneath the comforter he'd dragged from their bed. He didn't understand it, when he'd left that morning Eren seemed fine. He tried to comfort him, thinking it was something at work bothering him. But he told him it was him, them, the whole wedding situation. Eren told him that lie because it was the best explanation he could think of at the moment.

 

Jean's genuine concern for him well being only made him feel worse and he wished he would go away, leave him to brood. But Jean crawled up next to him, wrapped him in his arms, told him it was just "cold feet" and that they'd get through this. And in that moment he wanted to tell him, tell him he'd been cheating. Tell him that he had deep, unexplainable feelings for another man and that he did things to his body he could never  _dream_  of doing. 

 

Eren turned his face to him, looked him in the eye and knew he couldn't. He couldn't do it, not now. He was still living in a world of bliss and he didn't want to ruin it for him just yet. 

 

He'd fallen asleep on the couch when the phone started ringing and he'd picked it up on the first ring, having a feeling it was Levi. 

 

He was right and Levi sounded giddy, like a kid, asking him what he was doing. He wasn't in the mood and really wished he hadn't called and told him in a low voice that he couldn't talk. But he kept talking, told him he was flying back to New York for business and that he was going to be there for a couple of weeks. He didn't think it was possible for him to feel worse but he did. Then he said he wanted him to come with him and he immediately refused, telling him he had work to do in California. But he persisted, playing the boss card, telling him this was his job and he  _needed_  to come. 

 

Eren couldn't believe his audacity to pull that role whenever it benefited him and it truly left him feeling disgusting, used, like a prostitute. So he hung up on him, prayed he wouldn't call back. 

 

But he did, without delay.

 

"What Levi?!" he snarled into the phone, trying to keep his voice low so that Jean wouldn't hear him in the other room.

 

"Why are you in such a shit mood —"

 

"I have a lot going on right now and I don't appreciate you calling my home with this bullshit about a business trip. You and I both know that isn't what this is —"

 

"But it is, Mr. Jeager — and even if it wasn't, who cares?! You're right, we do know what this is. We know what this is very well," he bit back at him and he'd never heard him more forceful or upfront about his motives. "I want you to come with me to New York because I want you there with me," he started to say in a calmer voice. "I want to make love to you day and night and every chance I get. I want you there because three weeks is too damn long to be without you. Now say that you'll come…"

 

Levi's voice was breaking and he was out of breath and he wanted to be with him right then more than anything else.

 

"I can't stay away from home that long…" he said, his voice calmer now as well. 

 

"Just come for a few days. I swear I'll make it worth your while…"

 

His knees legitimately buckled underneath him at the wild thoughts running through his head and he knew he'd pay for this one day, someday. 

 

"…fax over the itinerary."

* * *

 

Eren got to New York after Levi and was surprised to see that he'd been put in a different hotel room. Though really he shouldn't have been since he was supposed to be there working. Sometimes he forgot that he was on his payroll. Or rather he liked to forget it so that he didn't feel like he was being paid for his "services." 

 

Levi had been there since yesterday and from the looks of the itinerary he would be done for the day soon so he'd be expecting him. But he took his time, unpacking his bags, flipping through the TV channels, tried to occupy his mind with something else so he didn't feel so eager, so desperate to be with him. Even though he'd been thinking about this trip ever since his phone call and all he wanted was to be next to him.

 

He'd fallen asleep watching the news when the hotel room phone started ringing, shaking him awake. 

 

Groggily, he answered.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hi," and he could hear the smile in his voice, it made him smile.

 

"Hey…"

 

"You made it," he said, like there was a chance he wasn't going to make it.

 

"I did…hours ago actually…"

 

He sighed. "I'm sorry, I've been in meetings all day."

 

"It's fine, I know —"

 

"Have you eaten already?" 

 

He stretched his neck to look at the clock; it was already 10 o'clock, but he could eat.

 

"No, I fell asleep…"

 

He heard him chuckle. "I have some movies and stuff we can look at if you want to come over. We can order room service and I'll let you get anything you want off the menu," he said, offering it to him like it was a bribe. Knowing damn well he was only in New York for him, only for him. 

 

He giggled. " _Anything_?"

 

Now he laughed. " _Anything,_ " he reiterated.

 

"I'm sold. Should I come now?"

 

"Yes — and bring your bags," he said quickly before he hung up.

 

"Huh?"

 

"Bring your stuff with you — I'm not letting you leave this room once you get here."

 

And that power in his voice, that possessiveness made him feel more than anything anyone had ever said to him in his life. And he briefly wondered what kind of underlying psychological issues he had for this to turn him on so much when it shouldn't. 

 

He hung up before he could respond or refuse. And without thinking twice, he packed up his bags and didn't look back. 

* * *

Another sip of wine and he could see his eyelids getting heavier, a whimsical look on his face. They'd been watching one of the old movies Levi had Bill rent from nearby and dining on everything they desired from room service and he was guzzling down wine like it was water. 

 

He couldn't help but laugh at how cute Levi looked, his head falling over as they sat together on the sofa as he tried his best to keep his eyes open.

 

He turned his attention to him at the sound of his laughter. 

 

"What you laughing for?" he asked, head resting on his hand, staring at him with a cheesy look on his face. He laughed again.

 

"Your face, silly," he replied.

 

He reached out his long arm, grabbed his ankle, pulled him to him so that his legs were on either side of his body and he gasped out loud at his strength. 

 

"What about it?" he asked, face leaning into his, breathing him in.

 

"Hmmm," he mumbled into his shoulder, burying his face there. It felt so natural like this, so good and so natural. They didn't even have to try.

 

Levi placed a warm kiss against his neck, kept his lips there, hugged Eren's body close to his. "You smell so good," he said, closing his eyes.

 

Eren squeezed him tighter. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

 

Levi didn't answer. He looked down at him and he looked up at him, that mischievous look on his face and he could't help but hold him there and kiss him like that. His hands moving up his back slowly until they were in his hair, grabbing and pulling. His mouth tasting like grapes and sugar and he felt drunk just by his kiss. 

 

He pulled away breathlessly as Levi kissed his way down his neck and he sighed helplessly. 

 

"Levi," he called out his name hoping to grab his attention but he kept kissing, lower and lower. He inhaled a breath at the feeling of his teeth nibbling bits of her skin. "Levi," he tried again.

 

"Hmm?" he responded, though he didn't quit.

 

"Stop for a second," he breathed out and he stopped, looked up at him like he'd grown a second head.

 

"What's wrong?" he asked innocently and he smiled, put out a hand to rub his bottom lip.

 

"I don't want it…I don't want you to be like this," he told him. He raised a brow.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Like this," he reiterated. "You're drunk," he said again, this time not a question. Levi's eyes were nearly shut and he could tell by the look on his face that the room was spinning around him. 

 

"Why not?" Levi questioned, now burying his face in his neck. "This way I don't feel anything," he mumbled and he almost didn't hear him but he did. The alcohol was making Levi more honest about his feelings than normal and for the first time he felt like he could see him a little more clearly. 

 

He cupped a hand under his chin, lifted his face to look at him and he looked at him, his vulnerability all of the sudden so easy to read. And he felt bad, bad because it was like this. They made it like this and they were in so deep that neither knew how to turn it back.  

 

"I wish…that it wasn't like this," he started to say, feeling like he too could be honest now, because he was drunk and maybe he wouldn't remember what he said in the morning. "I can't explain how I feel when I'm with you…" he stopped, tried to gather his thoughts, string together the right words.

 

Levi pulled him closer to him, if that was even possible, so that he was sitting on his lap. And he looked at him like he wanted him to keep talking, take the step off the diving board first.

 

Eren shook his head, laughed at himself. "What are we doing?" he said, looking up at the ceiling like the answer could be there. "I'm getting married and yet all I want to do is be with you…lay next to you…hear the way you say my name… feel the way you touch me…I leave you and I feel like an addict just waiting for their next hit," he sighed heavily. "I'm not sure if this feels like just sex anymore…"

 

Levi watched Eren's mouth as he spoke like he was difficult to understand and reading his lips was the only way he could hear him. And his hands were gripping his sides like he was afraid he'd try to run away, leave him alone. 

 

"I'm trying so hard," Levi finally said, his voice deep, slightly raspy. "I'm trying so hard not to be like this…to feel like anything. Everything about us is wrong, I know it…but I don't care…"

 Eren pulled away, out of his grip, shaking his head at him, at them. "This _is_  wrong," he said. "Especially when you can hardly talk to me or tell me how you feel — even when you're like this!"

 

"What does it matter?!" Levi screamed back, emotion in his voice, on his face, and Eren nearly jumped out of his skin, not anticipating that reaction. "Huh? Tell me really — like if I confessed all of myself to you that you'd just jump ship with _him_ , huh? It doesn't matter how I feel or what I want because you're marrying _him_ and there's no way in hell we could be together — you said it yourself…"

 

And Eren opened his mouth to speak, but Levi shook his head and put up his hand, started to laugh. 

 

"This is so stupid…" he mumbled to himself. "I didn't bring you here so we would fight and talk about how wrong this is…because we both know that neither of us want to stop —"

 

"What if I said I do? What if I do want to stop?" Eren said, on the verge of tears because he felt helpless even though he knew he wasn't. 

 

Levi looked up at him quickly, sat up straight, a dark look brewing in his eyes. "Then go," he said not missing a beat, gesturing to the door. "I'm not gonna stop you."

 

His words hit Eren hard, stung as if he'd been slapped straight across the face. Levi could care less, and he knew that and yet he kept doing this to himself. He really was an addict and Levi had to be the drug because he kept crawling back even though he knew it was bad for him, killing him slowly.

 

He didn't say anything, he couldn't, he just nodded, stood up to go gather his things. And Levi watched him carefully with the words he wanted to say right there, sitting in his throat but they wouldn't come out. 

 

Eren came out of the bedroom, bags in hand and walked to the door not even looking his direction and he felt like his heart was literally being ripped out of his chest.

 

"Wait," Levi called out to him, stood up, rushing over to him. His hands up, out reaching for him and Eren stepped away, tried to move his face away before he got to him. But he was quick, and he'd snatched him up in his arms, kissed him hard. Lifting him up off of the floor so that he dropped his bags. Pinning him up against the door and just kissing him, and kissing him until the tension was gone and Eren was melting into him.

 

"Don't go,  _please_ don't go," he pleaded in his ear and Eren was instantly reminded of the last time he said those words to him, how he left him the next morning even after he promised to stay. He hurt Levi, he knew he did, and now Levi was hurting him every single day because he kept falling more and more. 

 

"I'll go crazy if you leave me again…let me be close to you,  _please,"_ Levi whispered against his skin as he undressed him, he was quivering under his touch. And he couldn't respond, feeling too emotional about it all. Wanting to scream and fight and cry about it. And still, somehow, wanting to kiss him and hold him and have him trust him, care for him, fall in love with him. No question, he was an addict.

 

He closed his eyes and kissed him, opened them and they were in bed and he was moving against him slowly, so slowly. And kissing him softly like he was the most precious thing in the world. Looking at him with those eyes the entire time, he moved inside of him, taking his time. This had stopped being "just sex" a long time ago. The way he pushed inside of him, moving so carefully, intricately, there had to be something there beyond lust. 

 

When Levi lost the strength in his arms to hold himself up, he let his body collapse onto his, keeping that steady pace in his hips. His face in the crook of his neck he told Eren he never wanted to be without him, that he cared about him so much it hurt, it hurt to be with him, to be without him. It was always then, when he was teetering on the edge that he felt he could say anything, tell it all, no secrets or shame.

 

Then he was exploding and Eren was gripping him for dear life, an orgasm ripping through his entire body. And Eren felt him shaking, trembling and he didn't realize he was crying until he felt the wetness against his neck. He hid his face there and cried and Eren let him, holding him, never wanting to let go. 

* * *

Soon Levi's crying stopped, his breathing back to normal, and Eren was rubbing his back lightly as he lay on top of him, face still nuzzled into his neck. Slowly Levi rolled from on top of him, sat up, rubbed his hands over his face.

 

"I'm sorry," he said, like he'd said something horrible, terribly wrong. 

 

Eren sat up too, sheets falling down from his naked body. "Don't apologize, Levi —"

 

"Not for…this," Levi cut him off. "But for…everything. Just —" he sighed heavily, turned to him but didn't look him in the eye, looked off nowhere in particular. "I never wanted it to be like this. I didn't mean for this to be so...complicated. When you left, I was angry…hurt. But I moved on…" he stopped himself, ran a hand through his hair. "Then I saw you that night and…I thought it was fate or somethin'. Like — I knew we'd cross paths again someday but I didn't think I'd see you then. I just felt like I should at least try…get you back in my life and show you why you made the wrong decision that night. Show you how it could be…"

 

Feeling a chill in the air Eren pulled the sheets up around him, leaned in to him. 

 

"…But, I see you and I just — I don't understand it…why I feel like this. I've never felt it before and it doesn't make sense. I've hardly seen you in daylight for Pete's sake," he said with a sad chuckle. Finally, he looked up at him. "I've been selfish, so selfish, Eren…only thinking about myself and what I wanted…" he shook his head, looked down at his hands in front of him. "I know _he_ must love you and you probably love him, too…but I can't sit here and tell you that you should go and be with him. You look at me like…like I can be more — like  _this_  can be more. I want it to," he said, now leaning into Eren, a hand on his thigh. And Eren eyed him nervously, carefully, like at any moment he could burst out laughing, tell him this was all a joke. 

 

Eren grabbed his hand, squeezed it. 

 

"What do you want?" Levi asked him because it'd taken him too long to say anything back. 

 

He gulped hard, pulled his hand up to his cheek, leaned into it. 

 

"I want you to always be like this," he said, not really knowing what to ask for, how to ask for it. 

 

Levi grabbed his hand, pulled him to him so that he was sitting on his lap, his arms around his neck, he looked up at him. "Do you want to stop?"

 

Eren sighed heavily. "I…I don't want to hurt anybody," he said because it really was the truth. He didn't want to hurt him, he didn't want to hurt Jean, he didn't want to hurt himself, but that was all he had done, he was good at it. 

 

"We can't go on like this, you know…" Levi said softly, saying it for him even though he didn't want to. "It's not fair for anybody —"

 

"I just —" Eren cut him off, not ready to wake up and see the light, not ready to face the truth about what this was, what they were. Felt himself teetering on that line and not wanting to jump, not yet, though gravity was trying to tug him down. "I'm here, right now," he started saying, a hand lightly brushing the hair out of his face, taking a moment to really look at Levi, never seeing him more beautiful. Because it was like this, then, when his hair was a mess and his face was flushed and Levi was looking at him like he wasn't even real, magic — that's when he was the most beautiful. "With you…and I just — let's just….can we stay like this for a little while longer?"

 

Keeping his eyes on him, Levi gulped hard, feeling a lump grow there suddenly. Hearing Eren say that this would have to end soon felt like he'd been hit with a ton of bricks and he all of the sudden felt a thousand pounds heavier. 

 

"I never get to see you like this," Eren kept talking, but he was so wrapped up in his own thoughts and emotions he almost didn't hear him. He raised a brow.

 

He smiled though it didn't reach his eyes still swimming in sadness. "You know I don't want to hurt you…" he whispered.

 

"But you're going to…" Levi replied back then placed a kiss on his collarbone, looked up at him keeping his lips there, breathing in his scent, wanting to stay like this always, always. 

 

Eren shook his head, closed his eyes tight. "I never want to…I don't want to…"

 

"Shhhhh," Levi shushed him, another kiss lower on his chest, eyes still looking up at him. "We'll pretend for a little longer, 'kay?"

 

And he smiled up at him and Eren wanted to cry, cry because he didn't want it to be like this. Didn't want to have to pretend, wanted this to be real. Wished he could fall in love and marry him and have a real life with him. 

 

But he knew that couldn't be. Even as real as this felt, it couldn't ever be real. But they could pretend.

 

Soon enough, Levi's hands were moving slowly up his back to his neck and holding him there, his lips against his soft, kissing him slow. Everything inside of him had already come apart, he was putty in Levi's hands, what was the point in trying to fight it anymore? 

 

Levi pulled away slowly, even though Eren was moaning, and he opened his eyes to look at him, questioning.

 

"Told you I wasn't lettin' you leave this room…" he teased, a smirk on his face.

 

He smiled, shook his head sadly. "You make it hard to…to leave…"

 

Levi reached out a hand, his thumb rubbing gently across his bottom lip. "What are you doing to me, Eren?"

 

And not even letting him answer, his lips were pressed against his again, hungrily, growing more and more desperate. 

 

Slowly pushing him back onto the bed, moving on top of him, feeling his heart beating through his chest, so hard he could feel it in his neck. He didn't know what Eren had done to him, but he'd done it a long time ago and now he felt trapped, stuck, incapable of feeling any other way. 

 

Levi pulled away again and Eren whined, he smiled, looked down at him like that. Hoping he would always remember this, remember this feeling. And for the rest of the night they made love, over and over, to make up for all the days missed in the past, all the days they'd miss in the future. For a little while longer they held onto that feeling, like addicts getting that last hit before rehabilitation. Not even afraid of overdosing, they stayed wrapped up in each other, not thinking, not worrying, just feeling.

* * *

 

  
  


 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> had some free time so i decided to update early! & also i know yall want things to be more fast paced and what not but pls....... it will get there, this story is kinda slow build so have patience yall........ but ANYWAYS some shit goes down so this time it actually advances a bit. (i really need to stop saying yall..... i dont want yall to think im country lol) 
> 
> ALSO um should i use cock/dick/ or the word penis? IDK which one to use and they all make me laugh

In the morning, when the sun had just started to rise and Eren had been sleeping, Levi rolled over to him, moving the sheets off of his body. Looking at him naked, seeing the goosebumps starting to rise all over his flesh. Watching the rise and fall of his chest, the hardness of his nipples. Not even thinking, he started trailing wet kisses down his body, eyes watching him to see if he'd wake, but he didn't. So he kept kissing him, lower and lower, down his stomach, and to his dick, kissing him there so, so softly. Eyes still watching him, he saw him flinch in response, but his eyes still closed. He kissed him there again, this time using his tongue, enjoying how good he tasted he began to moan, unable to contain himself. Then he began to writhe underneath him, and he grabbed a hold of his hips, held him in place. 

 

He started calling his name, sleep all in his voice, but he ignored it, now focused on finishing the task at hand. He'd started moaning, trembling, telling him he was on the edge, that'd he'll cum any second, so he shoved two fingers inside him, trying to prepare him, he could feel him tightening around him and he pulled them out, moved away quickly. 

 

Eren opened his eyes, confused at why he stopped all of the sudden, right when he was almost there.  And Levi was right there, in his face, smiling deviously, knowing he'd done something bad. 

 

"Good morning," he said seductively, his naked body hovering over his.

 

He furrowed his brow. "Why'd you stop?" he asked, panting, out of breath.

 

He smirked. "I wanted to make sure you were awake…"

 

"Awake? Oh, I'm awake alright," and he nipped at his neck making him giggle. 

 

"I've always wanted to do that," Levistarted to say, his face in his neck, kissing him there.

 

"Mmm, what?"

 

"Wake up next to you…"

 

Pulling away and looking at him then, Eren couldn't help but feel like the most special person on the face of the earth. To have Levi look at him like that, talk to him the way he did, touch him like he was something so sacred, he couldn't help but feel special. 

 

He smiled, kissed him softly on the lips, a hand in his hair. "If people knew you were like this in real life, they wouldn't know what to do…"

 

He shook his head, smiled. 

 

"You're so beautiful, you know?" he said, and Levi looked away, blushing. He traced a finger down his jaw, another kiss on his neck; he couldn't help herself. 

 

"I cancelled all my meetings today," he started to say, rolling from on top of him, reaching for the phone on the nightstand. 

 

"Oh?"

 

He picked up the phone and started dialing a number, he moved over to him, wrapped his arms around him from behind, face all in his hair. He smelled like cinnamon which reminded him of Christmas, fireplaces, gifts underneath the tree. 

 

"Hello?…yes, good morning…" he started talking into the phone. "Is that today? Can we push it to tomorrow…no, something's come up. Yes…yes…okay, let him know I can't make it today, but tomorrow— oh, right. Yes, that's fine…'kay. Thank you…okay. Thanks, Jolie. Bye."

 

And at the sound of her name, Eren moved, sat up, just now remembering that night months ago. How Levi was with Jolie, or rather how he imagined he was with her, the same way he was with him behind closed doors.

 

He started to feel his stomach turn, feeling all of that old insecurity well up inside again. 

 

Levi rolled back over to him. "Well, now I've cancelled all my meetings today," he said, beaming up at him. He grabbed his hand, pulled it to his lips, kissed it. "We can lay in bed all day…watch movies…" moving his kisses up his arm. "…or other stuff…"

 

He knew he should still feel special with Levi canceling all of his plans just to be with him, but he couldn't help but feel curious about his relationships with other women, if he was just another fling for him, if anything that he was saying was true, real. 

 

Levi could sense the shift in his attitude, looked up at him inquisitively. 

 

"What is it?" he asked.

 

He shook his head, said it was nothing. 

 

Levi sat up, began rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, scooted even closer to him then laid his head in his lap. Eren couldn't believe he was being this comfortable with him, it only made his curiosity stronger. He needed to know if he was like this with everyone, anyone else. 

 

His hand immediately went to his hair, running his fingers through it, his silver eyes looking up at him expectantly.

 

"What?" he asked.

 

"What is it?" he asked again, not taking "nothing" for an answer. Eren wore his emotions on his sleeve, they played out clearly on his face so he knew something had to be wrong.

 

He sighed heavily, shook his head again. "It really doesn't matter—"

 

"Don't do that, Eren. You know I don't like it when you say that. Tell me what it is…"

 

He smiled weakly, shook his head at himself. "It's stupid really, you'll laugh…"

 

"Tell me," Levi persisted. 

 

He pulled in his bottom lip, chewed it a little. "…it's really none of my business, I just wonder — you know, if you…if you're sleeping with anyone else…"

 

Levi raised a brow, smirked. "Are you sleeping with anyone else?" he deflected the question. 

 

He sucked his teeth. "You know the answer to that—"

 

"But are you?"

 

"Levi—"

 

"I'm sleeping with you—"

 

"Levi, you know what I mean—"

 

Levi laughed, amused with his frustration. "I'm sleeping with you…only…currently…"

 

"So before?"

 

"Before what?" he asked, his finger now tracing circles lightly on his belly. 

 

"You know what I mean — since we've been…sleeping together, have you been with anyone else? I just want to know…I need to know."

 

He sat up, looked at him seriously. "What does it matter?"

 

He shook his head, looked down. Knowing that Levi not answering the question meant that he had, he had been sleeping with other people. But could he really feel any type of way? He'd been sleeping with his fiance this whole time, too. His fiance…he almost forgot about that.

 

"I haven't been sleeping with anyone, Eren…you know that," he said, his finger on his chin, lifting it so that he'd look at him. 

 

"I don't know anything—"

 

"Well I'm telling you— I haven't. I don't just sleep with people all the time, you know…"

 

He raised a brow. "You don't?"

 

Levi was taken aback, a little offended. "I don't," he reiterated. "What would make you think that?"

 

He shook his head. "I just…I know how you are with me, so I figure…you must be like that with other people…"

 

"Well I'm not…at all…"

 

"What about Jolie?"

 

He furrowed his brow. "Jolie? What about her?"

 

"Are you like that with her?"

 

His face scrunched up in confusion which quickly turned into laughter.

 

"What?" he asked incredulously, still laughing. "Are you being serious?"

 

Eren nodded, now feeling stupid and slightly embarrassed for even asking. 

 

"Eren, why would you even think — no, I haven't been with her. Why would you think that?"

 

"You haven't?" he questioned, not believing him.

 

Now serious, "I haven't. I'd never…she's my assistant. She works for me—"

 

"Ha! Like that ever stopped you before!"

 

He put up a hand, in surrender. "You're right, you're right…but I haven't been with her. Haven't even thought about it. She's…it's not like that, okay?"

 

He shrugged, shook his head. "I told you it didn't matter anyway…"

 

"Well, let's be clear on it anyway. I have not— and probably never will have sex with Jolie…period. Okay?"

 

"Doesn't matter…"

 

"Then why'd you ask? If I told you I slept with her, what would you do?" he asked, moving his head back into Eren's lap, looking up at him. He kept his hands to himself this time. "Answer me."

 

He rolled her eyes, looked down at him. "I wouldn't care—"

 

"No? Oh…okay, in that case, I have slept with her…"

 

"Are you being serious?"

 

He nodded. "It was only once…I didn't mean for it to happen, it kinda just did—"

 

"That happens to you a lot, doesn't it?" Eren asked smugly, pushing his head off of his lap, moving his legs from underneath him. 

 

He sat up quickly. "Whoa, calm down. You wanted to know—"

 

"Why'd you even lie about it the first time?" he yelled at him. "You're fucking disgusting," he bit out, trying to make his way out of the bed, but Levi grabbed his arm, snatched him back over to him.

 

"Ouch, you're hurting me—"

 

"Stop it, right now," his grip on his arm tight, pulling him so close to him he could feel his breath against his face. "You said you didn't care, right?"

 

"You lied to me," his voice in a harsh whisper, on the verge of tears.

 

"I didn't sleep with her, Eren…fuck. I just wanted to see your reaction—"

 

"You asshole—"

 

"You care…say you care," he commanded him, still gripping his arm, their faces barely an inch apart. 

 

"I care, you fucking asshole," he snarled at him, feeling the growing heat between them. 

 

"You have some nerve, Eren. How could I even try to look at a girl the way I look at you?"

 

A hot tear slipped out of Eren's eye before he could stop it and now he was really embarrassed, embarrassed for asking, embarrassed for feeling this way. 

 

Levi's grip loosened on his arm a bit but he still held him close, wiped the tear away with his thumb, held his face in his hands. 

 

"I shouldn't have asked…" he started to say. "It's none of my business what you do when you're not with me…"

 

"No?"

 

"I care about what you do…but I shouldn't. You don't belong to me…"

 

Then Levi smiled, hoping to make Eren smile, too, feeling proud to have gotten a little reaction out of him, even though it hurt, it always did. 

 

He shook his head, now realizing what Levi meant when he said he didn't like talking, words do hurt. So instead he kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him. Silencing him and silencing his thoughts, his doubts, his worries, his fears, his guilt for just a little while longer. 

* * *

 

The day passed quicker than either of them noticed. So distracted with each other that they didn't realize how much time had gone by, how it had rained outside and stopped, the sun had started to set. 

 

Neither had gotten fully dressed the entire day. Getting out of the bed to take a shower only to end up together again, wet bodies never separating, drying off with each other's heat. Taking turns pleasuring each other, then lying together, drinking in every waking second because they knew it would end soon, it had to. 

 

They talked a lot that day, about everything, about nothing. Levi told him about how he wanted to adopt kids from every country, live with all of them in his mansion. Eren told Levi how he wanted to move far away, live on an island, away from work, away from life. How he loved his job but hated it for never allowing him to have a peaceful life, drama was his profession. Levi talked about how he'd always dreamed of being a farmer, growing his own food, feeding his family. How he always knew he'd have a big family because that's what he grew up in and didn't know any other way. Simpler lives in a distant world.

 

Eren asked him if he ever wanted to get married and Levi flinched like it physically hurt to talk about, began to blush, shrugged it off. He said he wanted to be in love, but he didn't. He did because he liked the way it made him feel, like he was invincible, floating on air. But he didn't because he hated the way it made him feel, vulnerable, naive, stupid. Levi told him he'd been hurt, lied to so many times that it had warped the way he saw women, and men, he cited it as the reason Levi treated him the way he did. Levi rambled, just talking, being so open with him now because he knew it wouldn't matter later. Eren would go back to his life, him back to his and none of this would matter. The thought made him sad, helpless, hopeless. 

 

Lying there, Eren's head on his chest, his hand in his hair, he asked him if he would be with him if he weren't marrying someone else. He couldn't even bring himself to say the man's name it made him so sick. The way that man felt about Eren couldn't compare to the way Levi felt about him. The way Eren made his heart flutter, his skin tingle, he swore even the molecules in the room changed when he was around him. 

 

Eren paused, sat up to look down at him. Looking at him the way that he does, like he was trying to see through him. A hint of a smile on his lips, sadness in his eyes, "We always talk in what ifs. Let's not do that today, okay?"

 

And it wasn't the answer Levi was expecting, but he accepted it. Knowing that whatever his answer was it didn't matter, none of this did. 

 

And that's what it was like the whole day they spent together. Drinking each other in, but not too much because then it'd hurt, it'd hurt too much when they had to part. So there was always bitterness in the way they kissed, the way he touched him but not too much, the way he looked into his eyes but not too deeply. 

 

The night came and he'd opened a window to let in a breeze, they hadn't left the room all day and the air was beginning to feel stale. He'd ordered room service some time ago: french fries, oysters, Greek salad, grapes. Just picked random things off the menu he thought Eren would like. Ordered a huge ice cream sundae, enough for a whole family and nearly force fed him, giggling when he fed him and purposely missed his mouth, smeared it all over his face. Then, leaning into him as he laughed, kissing him like that, tasting the chocolate syrup, all of the sugar. And it made his stomach hurt, his head dizzy, his heart ache. 

 

Levi felt himself falling more and more, gravity forcing him down, trying its damnedest to bring him back to reality. But then Eren would look at him, he'd kiss him, and it'd all go away.

 

Lying next to him that night he just held him, arms wrapped from behind him, his body snugly cuddled into his. And the whole night he whispered things into his ear, told him about his life, his childhood, his family. And Eren just listened, only asking questions every now and then so that he knew he was still awake. Feeling his breath tickle against his neck, his heart beating through his chest.

 

* * *

 

Bodies tired from the day; they'd hardly left the bed and yet they'd burned more calories together than if they'd run a marathon. The drawl in his accent more prominent, sleep all in his voice, he began to drift off, his breathing getting heavier. 

 

And just like that, lying there with him, Eren was at peace with his decision to be there at that moment. If he lost everything after—if he told Jean and he left him and Levi didn't want to be with him either, and his world came tumbling down—for this moment, it was all worth it. 

 

Levi's hands, large, warm, on his naked body, his lips pressed to the back of his neck, and feeling at ease he finally fell asleep.

 

In the morning, Eren awoke in a fog, almost forgetting where he was. Not finding Levi next to him, he sat up, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Then, noticing a note next to him, he picked it up.

 

_Went to a meeting. Be back before you can miss me too much. I miss you already. I want you here in bed when I get back. And we'll pretend for a while longer. Be good. — Levi_

 

Eren couldn't help but smile reading it, the way Levi's chicken-scratch handwriting was barely legible made it that much more endearing. And in the corner of the paper he'd drawn a little boy kissing another little boy, hearts all around it, and he felt like he was a schoolgirl in middle school, blushing from a note his crush had handed her. 

 

Looking at the time and noticing that it was still pretty early, he felt the urge to get up and get out for a bit. Being with Levi for the past two days was heavenly for sure, but his body was beginning to feel all of the effects of their lovemaking, he was sore, tight all over. So he decided he'd take a shower, head out of the hotel for a bit, see some sights, maybe go shopping. Figured he wouldn't stay gone for that long since he wasn't sure when Levi would be back. He said it wouldn't take long but he knew that he never really knew how long these things could take. But he'd make it back before he got back for sure.

 

Getting down to the hotel lobby, walking briskly to the door, he heard the attendant at the front desk call his name. Stopping, hearing the urgency in his voice he quickly went over to him, asked what it was.

 

"You're Mr. Yeager, right?" the young man asked.

 

"I came when you called, didn't I?" he responded, finding himself a bit irritated and frightened by the panic in his voice. "What is it?"

 

"We've been trying to get in touch with you for a while, sir. We called and even sent someone to your room but no one—"

 

"I was busy," he tried to cover. "Wha-why were you trying to reach me?"

 

He picked up the phone, began dialing a number.

 

"Answer me," he demanded but the man held up a finger asking him to hold a minute. 

 

"There's a message someone left for you last night…" he said holding his hand over the receiver of the phone. "Something about your husband—"

 

A sharp pain in his chest. "My husband? You mean my fiance? What is it—is everything alright?" he asked, panic now in his voice, his stomach queasy. 

 

He didn't answer, just held the phone out to him. He took it warily, eyeing him carefully, deathly afraid that everything in his world could be rocked upside down in the next two seconds.

 

Listening to the message it was Jean's friend Marco. He was saying there had been a bad, bad accident, Jean had flown off his motorcycle, he was pretty banged up, then he started mumbling about something, said that he didn't know what to do. Then Marco told him to call him back as soon as possible.

 

That was last night and Eren didn't know what had happened since then.

 

Handing the phone back to the man slowly, waiting for the words he just heard to start making sense in his head. A tightness in his throat, his stomach in his knees, and he knew that this was it, this was his world falling apart, this was his world being knocked upside down.

 

Racing upstairs, down the hall, into Levi's room, he grabbed his things as fast as he could. He didn't know if Jean was still alive or not and the suspense was killing him quickly. Feeling that heavy, heavy burden of guilt, shame, thinking that somehow this was his fault because of what he had done, what he had been doing. This was all his fault. She He was a professional fixer and yet he was better at breaking everything. 

 

And in a blur, he'd packed and gotten out of the hotel to the airport and back to California, not looking back once. Knowing that this was his wake up call, knowing that this was how it was supposed to be. It wasn't until he was on the plane that he thought, he maybe should've left a note for Levi, so he wouldn't worry. But no, this was better. Levi would think he'd left him again and would hate him, he'll hate him for real this time. And then he could go on with his life, whether it was with Jean or not. Yes, he needed Levi to hate him, move on and forget he ever existed—it was the only way he could learn to live without him. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! lol ( ps i will update weekly)


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